The Kissing Contract

Chapter twenty three

FROM:  GabiLincon@hotmail.com
TO:   JellyEllie33@yahoo.co.uk 
                                                                          
SUBJECT: I'm surprised you trusted me with this Elle                                                                                 

Hey Elle,         

I get why you'd think I wouldn't want to talk about it but time away and a good few years has taught me that you can't change people. And humans are messy and make mistakes and fuck up other people's lives because we just think about oursleves.

Parents suck. But I understand why my mum left- she wasn't happy. And maybe you need to think that perhaps you're mum isn't happy either. That maybe you mum and dad's seemingly perfect relationship has cracks and that she isn't destroying it, she's just trying to cope with the breaks.

Aren't we all just trying to hold our lives together?

I know I sure as hell am.

Gabi x

p.s I really do miss you- you were my best friend Elle. I know I never said it, but you were.

"Where on earth have you been young lady?"

I haven't even had the chance to close the front door before my mum jumps down my throat. I roll my eyes and push the door shut- I make sure to take my time because my heart is pounding and I still feel super woozy from last night. Or should I say three hours ago. I turn to face her, unable to meet her disappointed gaze  in fear I might throw up at her feet.

"Mum don't." I moan, crossing my arms over my chest. I just want to forget this ever happened. I just want to go to bed. As I go to move past her, she steps in my way, trapping me in front of the door.

"How dare you! We were worried sick about you! No text? Nothing! And then you come at 7 am stinking of alcohol. This is not the daughter I raised. Since when do you behave like this Ellie?" She's not shouting but I still feel her anger and upset towards me. I try to summon guilt as she carried on speaking but all I feel is deep-set anger towards her.

"Since you started cheating on your husband!" I bit back, unable to stop the words fall from my lips. Though the words are slurred, she heard exactly what I said- I can tell by the way she reacts. As if I've slapped her across the face.

"How dare you speak to me like that! If your father was here-" I cut her off.

"He'd probably be shocked that his perfect wife is sleeping with another man," the moment I say it, regret finally seeps into my heart. I want to throw up and cry and run as far away as possible. Why did I even have to say anything?

"Ellie. I don't know what's going on with you but this is not acceptable! This is because you've been hanging around with that Nate Myers isn't it? He's ruining my daughter."

I snort, "You just want someone else to blame! Mum. This isn't about anyone else! It's about you. You told me. No, promised me that you would never do this again! And you did."

She doesn't say anything in response and a part of me is glad and the other part of me wanted more of a fight, or her defence. I guess there isn't one. She lets me pass when I take a step forward and I move towards the stairs, still not looking her in the eyes.

"Maybe instead of cheating you should just get a divorce. It wouldn't hurt as much." I say, beginning to climb the stairs. I have to get away.

"I-can't-" her voice is but a whisper but I hear it perfectly. It pierces through my drunken daze igniting pain where there once was the numbing intoxication.

I slam my door shut the moment I step through the threshold and slide onto the floor. My head is pounding heavily and my heart is hurting so much.

She won't follow me up here. I want her to. I want her to apologise and kiss me on the head and hold me the way she did when I was little.

God, how much easier this would've all been if I'd just kept my mouth shut. Or text her to tell her I was okay. Or not even gone to the party in the first place.

Or maybe,

Maybe this would've all been easier if she hadn't cheated in the first place.

Mum, it hurts too much to live like this.

-*-
Hello my lovelies,

I know this book hasn't been updated for a while and honestly my only excuse is that I'm working on something else.

But I'm back! And I want to finish this book so so much!

Please vote and comment if you're enjoying this book so far and I promise that I won't wait too long before updating again!

Love you all,

Amber xx