The Girl who Drowned in Darkness

Chapter 7: Vemons

I awoke from my surprisingly good sleep considering I cried my eyes out the night before. I opened by eyes and found myself still in Liam's lap. I probably looked like a mess. Already feeling self-conscious about the way I look and behaved. I disentangled myself from him and sat closer to the stream.

I feel kind of bad that Liam had to see me like that and comfort me. I've only let a couple of people see me vulnerable. First was Sofia and Jennifer, and look what happened to us. Then, it was Lacey, which isn't something I regret given we're still close. Since everything with Jennifer and Sofia, I've never let anyone except Lacey see me this unguarded. Because I know she won't hurt me like everyone else has. It shocks me, how easily I exposed myself in front of him, when we haven't even been friends for more than a day. I mean it took Lacey months for me to finally show some vulnerability to her. There's something about Liam that makes me feel like I can trust him, and not knowing why, frightens me. Its a strange feeling, to actually open up to someone and not worry about the consequences. It was thrilling and exhilarating and scary all at the same time. Which is surprising because I never open up, I never trust, and I always worry. And yeah its a bad habit and a nasty thing, but bad experiences do that to you. Makes you believe the worst will happen since its all you've ever known.

I've been hurt enough times in my life to know not to get too attached because in the end, all I end up is more pain. Under this new slightly confident exterior, lies paranoia and anxiety. Nobody realizes, probably for the fact that after what happened a couple years ago, they act like nothing happened. If only I could do that..

I looked back at Liam and his eyes started to flutter. When he finally opened his eyes, he smiled down at me. I smiled back meekly.

"Good Morning."

"Morning," I smiled again, feeling a bit more confident this time.

I looked down at my reflection. I had purple bags under my eyes and my make-up smeared halfway down my cheeks. I can honestly say that I have looked that awful more times than I would care to admit. I don't know how Liam could look at me, I looked positively mad. Medusa would've had some serious competition with me.

I dunk my head in the creek and washed my face. I flipped my head back now that my face was all clean and I actually looked like a human being again. I crawled back over to Liam and faced him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I usually don't do that."

He looked confused, as if I was speaking another language, maybe I was. It wouldn't be the first time someone looked at me like that.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I'm sure you didn't want me crying all over your shirt, so I'm sorry you had to see me like that. I was a mess." I faced the ground, picking at grass follicles.

"You don't need to apologize for being upset. I don't want you to feel like you have to be an emotionless person when your with me. Your allowed to feel. I liked that you felt safe enough to trust me with your feelings. And besides, crying doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. And its important to remember that, no matter how inhuman you feel."

"So, you didn't mind me crying or being overly emotional in front of you?"

"I didn't like that you were upset. I don't want you to be upset, I want you to be happy. I also don't want you to overthink things about me. Thinking that there is some evil conspiracy as to why I'm nice to you."

"You noticed that?"

"Its pretty obvious, I mean at first it seemed like you might've been nervous about my intentions. But now its pretty easy to tell that its a bit more than that."