Chapter 7: Laughing Again

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The next thing she knew, it was morning. She stared at the pale silver light coming through her window, stunned.

For the first time in more than four months, she'd slept without dreaming. Dreaming or screaming. She couldn't tell which emotion was stronger—the relief or the shock. She lay still in her bed for a few minutes, waiting for it to come back. Because something must be coming. If not the pain, then the memories would surely flood her.  She waited, but nothing happened. She felt more rested than she had in a long time but she didn't trust this to last. It was a slippery, precarious edge that she balanced on, but it wouldn't take a lot to knock her down.

Just glancing around her room with her suddenly clear eyes—noticing how strange it looked, too tidy, like she didn't live here at all—was dangerous.

She pushed that thought from her mind, and concentrated, as she got dressed, on the fact that she and Bella, maybe, were going to see Jacob again today. The thought made her feel... hopeful. Maybe it would be the same as yesterday. Maybe she wouldn't have to remind herself to look interested and to nod or smile at appropriate intervals, the way she's had to with everyone else.

Maybe... but she wouldn't trust it to last, either. Wouldn't trust it to be the same—so easy—as yesterday. She wasn't going to set herself up for disappointment like that. She  did that once already and she wouldn't do that again. 

At breakfast, Charlie and Bella were being careful, too. Charlie tried to hide his scrutiny, keeping his eyes on his eggs until he thought she wasn't looking.

"What are you up to today?" he asked, eyeing a loose thread on the edge of his cuff like he wasn't paying
much attention to her answer.

"I'm going to hang out with Jacob again."

He nodded without looking up. "Oh," he said.

"Do you mind?" She asked in worry. "I could stay..."

He glanced up quickly, a hint of panic in his eyes. "No, no! You go ahead. Harry was going to come up to watch the game with me anyway."

"Maybe Harry could give Billy a ride up," she suggested. The fewer witnesses the better.

"That's a great idea."

She wasn't sure if the game was just an excuse for kicking her out, but he looked excited enough now. He headed to the phone while she donned her hoodie.  She felt self-conscious with the checkbook shoved in her hoodie pocket. It was something she never used.

Outside, the rain came down like water slopped from a bucket. Bella had to drive more slowly than she wanted to; she could hardly see a car length in front of the truck. But she finally made it through the muddy lanes to Jacob's house. Before Bella killed the engine, the front door opened and Jacob came running out with a huge black umbrella.

He held it over her door while she opened it. "Charlie called—said you two were on your way," Jacob explained with a grin.

Effortlessly, without a conscious command to the muscles around her lips, her answering smile spread across her face. A real smile.

A strange feeling of warmth bubbled up in her throat, despite the icy rain splattering on her cheeks.

"Hi, Jacob." Katnis says

" Katnis says

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