Edward makes the decision to leave Katnis after he almost lost control of himself.
Katnis is hurt, heart broken even, by his departure but she understands why he left. He wanted to protect her from himself.
One month after The Cullen's leave Forks...
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Katnis turned around and raised a brow. "No?"
Cullen appeared in front of her in a flash and hovered over her. "No. Not until I say what I have to say."
Katnis took a big breath and sighed. "Cullen, look, there's no reason - "
"Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in all my years on this earth," he confessed.
Katnis shook her head. "Cullen, just -"
"But I had to leave, I had to get as far away from you as I could," he gazed deeply into her eyes. "That night, at Bella's party, I almost robbed Charlie of his daughter and Bella of her sister. I would have robbed you of your life had it not been for Emmett."
She shook her head. "No, no. That's bullshit, Cullen, and you know it. Emmett's not the one who stopped you."
Cullen raised a brow. "Yes, he did, Katnis. He saved you from me."
"No. You saved me from you. You're the one that told him to stop you, before you even lunged at me," she held his gaze. "You saved my life, not Emmett."
"Katnis-"
"Why couldn't you just stay? Why did you have to break my heart? Why did I have to have my heart ripped from my chest, again, and be left, again?" she questioned, her eyes filled with unfallen tears. "Am I destined for nothing but heartbreak? Am I really that easy to leave, to walk away from?"
Cullen didn't hesitate to cup her face in his hands. "You are not destined for heart break." he said sternly.
"But I am easy to leave. My mother left me and so did you," she looked at her feet then met his gaze. "Two of the most important people in my life, left me, all alone."
"The last thing I ever wanted to do, Katnis, was hurt you."
"But you did. You did hurt me, Cullen." she stated softly.
"I didn't want to but I couldn't take another chance of attacking you, or Bella. I could no longer be selfish with you," he stated,running his thumb over her cheek. "So, I had a choice to make: stay and risk your existence or, leave and break two hearts but allow you a chance at a safer, normal life. I choose to let you live a normal life."
"Two hearts?" Katnis questions.
He nodded. "It broke my cold dead heart to walk way from you, Katnis. You have absolutely no idea how many times I had to talk myself out of coming back for you, asking you, begging you, to come with me."
Katnis shook her head and took a step back. "No. Cullen, you don't get to do this. You don't get to tell me how your heart broke or about how hard it was to walk away from me," she said. "You hurt me. You broke my heart the moment I gave it to you. I'm supposed to hate you and never want to see you again."
Cullen nodded. "You should. You should hate me. You trusted me and I hurt you."
Katnis groaned then turned from him and ran frustrated fingers through her hair. Why was she starting to feel sympathy for him? Why did she suddenly want to comfort him? Tell him that everything was going to be okay? He hurt her. Not the other way around.
"Damn you, Cullen!" she hissed.
Cullen stepped forward and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Katnis?"
She spun around and jumped away from his touch as if he'd burned her. She couldn't do this. She wouldn't. She was with Peeta and she cared about his very much. She would not hurt him just because Cullen apologized for what he did.
"I'm with Peeta, Cullen. I'm with him because after everything that happened, he made me laugh. He made me feel like I was worth staying for, worth fighting for," she stated truthfully. "He was there for me, along with Bella, Jacob and Charlie, when I didn't even know I needed them. He cares about me and I care about him."
Cullen nodded. "I know."
Katnis swallowed.
"I love you, Cullen. Even after you left, I continued to love you, I couldn't stop loving you. And honestly, I don't think I could ever stop," she took a big breath. "But that's no longer enough. Just because I love you doesn't mean I can, or want to, be with you. I genuinely have feelings for Peeta. I can't let you be the reason I hurt him the way you hurt me. He doesn't deserve that."
Cullen nodded and took a step back. "Neither do you. Katnis, all I want is for you to be happy. It's all I've ever wanted," he said. "And if Peeta makes you happy, if he's the one you want to be with, then I will let you live your life without any interference from me."
"But I was happy, Cullen. I was happy with you. I wanted to live the rest of my life out with you," she said softly. "Why couldn't you see that? Why did you refuse to hear me?"
Cullen shook his head but held her gaze. "I couldn't understand how, or why, you could want me as a part of your life after finding out what I was," he said. "I couldn't make sense of how I'd gotten so lucky to have met, and fallen in love with, you."
Katnis said nothing. She just nodded her head.
"Does he treat you right? Is he good to you?" he asked suddenly.
She nodded. "He's great."
He nodded. "Good. I'll um, I'll do my best to keep my family from interfering in your life."
Katnis chuckled. "I doubt you can convince Emmett, or Alice, to stay out of anything but I guess anything is possible."
He offered a small smile. "Yes. Anything is possible."
