(2) Katnis Swan: Moved On?

Chapter 30: What Now?

Katnis stood, with her arms crossed, in the middle of the Cullen's family room, staring at the Cullen teens.

"Anyone want to tell me what's going on or do I have to ask?" she questioned.

Everyone shared glances before Alice stepped forward. "It seems as if Carlisle and Esme have stepped out for a bit."

Katnis raised a brow. "And did you know this before I decided to come over?"

Alice shook her head. "I did not,  I promise you.  I didn't see them leave until we were more than halfway here." she stated. "I would have told you but I was afraid you'd ask us to take you back home."

"We weren't trying to trick you, Katnis. We promise." Rosalie stepped forward. "We've just really missed having you around and wanted to spend time with you."

Katnis looked at each and everyone of them. They were all staring at her with apologetic and hopeful looks. She knew they'd never lie to her. At least not at this point, not at the risk of losing her again.

So, with a sigh, Katnis ran her fingers through her hair. "Alright. I guess I'll just wait for them to return. In the meantime, is it alright if I walk around the house?"

"Of course. Knock yourself out." Said Emmett

With a slight nod in his direction, Katnis exited the living area and started walking around the house. Everything was the same as it was before they left. Nothing had changed. Not even a little. It was as if they'd never left at all. And for some reason, Katnis was slightly relieved. Had things been any different, she believed it would have made it harder for her to be back in that house again. Looking around and noticing how different things were would have forced the reality of how easy it was for them to leave her...again.

She was so lost in thought, and not really bothering to pay any attention to where she was going, that she found herself standing in the middle of Cullen's room. His room, on the other hand, was different. He had a bed. A big beautiful bed that didn't looked disturbed at all. With a sigh, she hesitantly crossed his room toward his stereo where she pressed the play button. An unfamiliar symphony started to play. A beautiful one. She closed her eyes and allowed the soft sound of the piano to wrap around her like a silk blanket.

Without realizing it, Katnis began to sway around the room, her eyes still closed, as the soft music guided her to a carefree and content place within herself that she never knew existed. A place where her mother was still alive, she and Cullen were happily in love and everyone she cared and loved were there and blissfully happy. It was a place where she felt nothing and no one could destroy her happiness...ever.

Katnis was so lost in her own mind that she had not noticed the shocked and relived bronzed haired vampire standing in the doorway of the room, watching her as she moved around his room. He watched her closely, his eyes never leaving her face as she moved gracefully with her arms out at her side, moving freely, and her head slightly thrown back, tilted to the ceiling. Her hair ran like a stream down her back, giving him all access to her features. He took in how at peace, and content, and happy she looked. He hadn't seen that look in a long time and he had no one to blame but himself. He was the reason for her unhappiness and lack of peace. He broke her heart after promising to never do such a thing. He broke his promise to her.

"Carlisle and Esme are back, Edward." Alice thought from down stairs.

Cullen sighed softly. He didn't want to disturb her, but he knew, after arriving home and speaking with his siblings, that she was there to visit Carlisle and Esme.

Not him.

Closing his eyes, Cullen took cautious steps forward until he was within arms reach of her. "Katnis." He called her name, but she didn't show any sign of hearing him. "Katnis." He called again but she didn't stop swaying.

He wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, but he was afraid he's startle her. Or worse...anger her. But she couldn't hear him. So, what was he to do?

Holding his breath, Cullen hesitantly reached out and gently wrapped his fingers around her wrist.

That did it.

Katnis, not needing to open her eyes to know who it was that had grabbed her wrist, stopped swaying and stiffened.  Slowly, she turned around and came face to face with the person who broken her heart all those months ago.

"I didn't mean to startle you. Alice informed me that you were here to visit with Carlisle and Esme. They've just arrived and are downstairs." he stated softly and took a step back.

Katnis couldn't help but stare at him.  He looked the same and yet so different.  He looked...defeated. 

Katnis, not taking her eyes off him, took steps in his directions until she was standing directly in front of him. Cullen went stiff but didn't move.  He watched her as she slowly lifted her hand and press it against his cheek.  He closed his eyes at the feel of her warmth. He felt her thumb move against his cheek and her fingers move through his hair.

When he opened his eyes, she was staring directly into them as a tear slowly ran it's course down her cheek. 

"I - I forgive you." she stated softly with a small yet broken smile. "I forgive you for breaking my heart. And I hope you can forgive yourself." she dropped her hand and went to step around him but he grabbed her wrist.

"Why?"

"Why would I forgive you?" she asked.

Cullen nodded.

"Isnt it obvious?" she asked with a look of confusion. "I still love you, Cullen. I love you far to much to pretend anymore."

Cullen stared at her with wide yet sad eyes. He couldn't believe that she still love him after everything that's happened between them the last several months.

Katnis, noticing the look of shock on his face, chuckled lightly. "Is it really all that shocking that I still love you?"

Cullen shook his head and shrugged. "I don't know. After everything that's transpired between us, after what I did to you, how could you possibly still love me?"

Katnis looked down at the hand that was wrapped around her wrist then lifted her gaze to meet his.

"It's simple, really. Despite everything that's happened, the way you made me feel, the way and how strongly you loved me was much stronger than the hurt." she stated. "I was just to stubborn to forgive you. I knew the real reason you left,  Cullen. It just upset me that you couldn't just tell me the truth."

"I thought it would be easier to have you hate me and move on than to still love me and wait for me." he admitted.

Katnis nodded.

"I know that now like I did then. You should have known,  Cullen, that it's much harder to fall out of love with someone than it is falling in love with them." she pulled her wrist free from his grasp then, unexpected to him, took his hand in hers. "Or at least it's that way for me."

Cullen looked down at their joined hands then met her gaze. "I love you. And I'm sorry that I hurt you."

Katnis gently squeezed his hand. "I know."

Cullen lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of it. "So.....what now?"