Dear Mr. Pessimist {Completed}

~27~ Forget About The Brownies

Dear Mr. Pessimist,

This is the second to last sticky note. I just wanted to say thank you for everything last night. I. . . I don't even know how to show you how grateful I was to have someone there for me for once. Thank you, Bennett.

Love,

Syd

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxo

I woke up to Erin screaming in the middle of the night.

I had forgotten where I was and ended up flying out of the bed, my hand thrown over my chest. Bennett had only laughed and went to pick up the three year old, grabbing one of her toys and sitting with her on the bed.

"Sorry about that. She. . . she does that a lot. Her grandparents think it's because she was. . . she was pulled away from Hannah to early. She hadn't finished breastfeeding, she didn't have her mom holding her until she fell asleep. I thought it was crap but now. . . now I'm not sure." Bennett was watched the girl on his lap as she shook the toy keys in her hands.

"C. . . can I see her?" I whispered, sitting beside him as my heart slowed back to normal. He picked her up and set her on my lap, brushing a lock of her blonde hair out of her green eyes. I smiled down at her, she stared back up at me with curious eyes.

"Hi, sweetie." I whispered to her, "You're so pretty, just like your Mommy." I said. She turned in Bennett's direction and frowned.

"Dada." His head snapped up in surprise, immediately shaking.

"No, Erin. I'm not Daddy. I. . . I'm Bennett." He told her, believing that a three year old would understand what he was saying.

"Dada!" She said again, "Up!" She grabbed at his hand, starting to whimper again. I gave Bennett a quick look before squeezing Erin's little hand gently.

"What's wrong, sweetie? You want to be up?" I stood up, watching as a satisfied look crossed the little girls face and she went back to playing with the toy keys.

"Dammit." Bennett muttered under his breath, "I don't want her thinking that I'm her father." I shifted Erin on my hip and gave him a questioning look over her shoulder.

"Why? Is that really so bad? Bennett she doesn't have a real Mom or Dad. She's going to grow up raised by her grandparents that didn't even love their daughter in the first place." He reached for the toys scattered on the ground and put them back in the bag beside her crib.

"So what do you expect me to do? Give up my entire life and raise a child that isn't even mine?" He growled. I blinked at how defensive he was getting, shocked. It took me a second to realize why he had gotten so mad.

"No, I'm not saying that. Wait until you have your life together, after college, and maybe you can take custody of her. I'm sure Hannah's parents will change their mind once they see how great you are." I ran my finger along his cheek. "I'm just saying that you can be there for her, you can be a sure thing. And if you loved Hannah, Bennett, then this is your way of holding on to her." He stared at the girl in my arms, his eyes emotionless for a second, as if he were processing what I had said.

"I'm scared, okay?" He finally choked out, avoiding my eyes.

"Scared of what, Bennett?"

"That I won't be a good father. That I'll be just like my father, like yours. And what happens when she's old enough and I have to tell her what happened to her Mom. What if she's not ready?" He had both of his hands buried in his messy brown hair. I set Erin down for a second and took both of Bennett's hands in mine, nodding. I knew exactly what he was trying to say.