The worst part about falling in love is being kicked to the ground and growing sick of apologizing when you're the one collapsed on the floor. At one point in time, I was almost sure I would be okay, but now, that thought doesn't exist. I was doing better. I was making progress. I was trying my hardest to be okay again. And at one point, I was almost happy. But I don't know what happened, but something went wrong. And now I find myself gasping for a breath. And I don't know when it happened, but I started losing my mind again. I think I'm missing pieces of myself, but I cannot seem to find them. or maybe I just don't know how.
But now I'm at the point where I don't want to wake up anymore. I don't want to get up out of bed. I don't want to keep trying. I don't want to keep failing. I just want to give up. I just want to go away or disappear and I want to stay like that for awhile. I'd like that a whole lot.
In another universe, we fall in love at the right time with right intentions. You whisper love into my ear, you mean it. We don't second guess ourselves or argue until the other breaks down in tears. Because in this universe, we fall in love with the right intentions. In another universe, she doesn't exist. She doesn't capture the love and attention I desired for. She doesn't kiss your lips only to lead us to our fate. I don't have to second guess myself if I'm your only. Because in this universe, she doesn't exist. In another universe we don't exist. I don't recall the taste of your lips or the touch of your hand. We never met, we never laid eyes on each other, we never loved. There is a hint of happiness and a feeling I've never discovered before. Because in this universe, we don't exist. In this universe, we fail. I lay awake at night wondering why I was never good enough. All the lies and bullshit you committed. You leave and come as you please only to hurt me all over once more. I cry only to see in your eyes full of hate. We sit in silence, neither one of us have the energy to pick up the pieces, not this time. Because in this universe, we fail.
I keep having this dream where we're still together, and we're happy. We didn't let the distance come between us because our love was stronger than any storm.
I know that dream is a reality in another universe. I know that we're happy and in love there, and I wish you believed me when I said I was going to fall in love with you because I did and you're gone.
You're gone and it feels like you set my heart on fire and you're watching it burn from a distance. I can't even bear to touch you.
You were the one I wanted to spend forever with.
I wanted you to be the end of my story.
I was always in love with the sea but I never wanted to drown myself in one so bad until i saw your eyes.
I wish you knew that.
I wish you knew what I'd do for you to come back. intimacy and broken promises were all you gave me. i was patient and i anxiously waited for you to be mine. but you left leaving only your empty promises and your warm embrace behind. i mourned and built my strength up but then you were back and you were always my weakness so i tore down every stone wall finding my way back to you. I told you my secrets, shared all my pain and you always held me tight. But my heart was just another level in the games you played. you played me like a drum and didn't really care if i just withered away. i always wanted more but you never had the time. you'd hold me close and you'd say, "there is no time for romance." and i never knew it was all a lie. but now you have her
and i have nothing but tears
and a broken heart. it hurts
because i didn't realize how much i needed you
it hurts
because i can't hold your hand and make you believe everything will be okay.
it hurts
because even if given the chance, i'll never kiss you
it hurts
because i love you more than i could ever love myself.
it hurts
because when nights are rough and i can't stop crying, I only want you by my side holding me and telling me it will be okay. you'll never be mine and that reality is breaking my heart.
Oh god I'm missing you.
YOU ARE READING
I Wrote This For You.
Teen FictionThe difference between you and I was that I had the intention to love you, and you had the intention to destroy me. The sad part is, I let you. I wrote this for you ...
