Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

6. Spoil Brat

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I needed to stop running away.

Mom always scolded me whenever I would run away from problems, skulking in a corner and letting Kabir handle everything. Maybe she was right too. I depended too much on my brother to protect me that I overlooked one day he would be a problem for me. But the answers aroused in my heart had some distinctive plan.

It was accusing me, not him. When I packed the bags, it blamed me. When I reached the airport, it blamed me. When I boarded the plane, it blamed me. What type of heart was it? What was my mistake?

Kabir had called me a burden, thrusting me into the darkest reality of the world, and for the first time making me feel like I was an orphan. Making me feel like I had no one left to rely on and it was scary. I wasn't used to be alone. I wasn't used to be lonely with no hope of future.

"Nisha, stop it." Rupika seized the bottle from my hand, throwing it at the corner of the room. The sound of the broken glass echoed in the room, but I didn't care. I was too much spent on life.

She sat down on the red bean bag and strike my cheek. Confused, I cupped my cheek and glared at her through my hooded eyes. I shouldn't have come to Goa to stay with her, but I had no other option. I couldn't go to Sanchi's apartment. Dhruv would've told Kabir. And Alina didn't sound like a good idea to me. The only person I had was Rupika, my friend since school days.

So, I packed my bags, left a letter, without telling where I was going and ran away from the home to nowhere.

Leaning my head at the back, I dragged my fingers through my throat, carving for one more sip.

"You're going to be a doctor and you're consuming alcohol like water. That's how you'll treat your patients?"

Blinking my eyes rapidly, I tried to remove the haziness that resided in my eyes but it was of no use.

"Painkillers aren't helpful in curbing emotional pain."

She groaned, kicking my ankle with her foot.

"It had been a week since you've come to Goa and you're closed in your room and drinking these bottles." She smashed another bottle against the wall, not caring her room walls were getting stained with the beer. Standing up, she paced back and forth, scolding me for being so reckless by coming here and avoiding Kabir.

Why did nobody understand me? I had to run away. It was the only option left. Kabir thought I was a burden and I didn't want to be a burden.

Kneeling down in front of me, she grabbed my hand as softness lurked in her dark brown eyes. "What Kabir did was wrong but it doesn't mean you stay here doing nothing. You're in Goa. Do you understand it? Enjoy it. Be the Nisha you were."

I didn't know how to be that anymore. It felt foreign to be the same girl who would find positive in every negative, who would let things slide away and be carefree.

"You know how he is. He never thinks before speaking. He loves you." My lips were sealed as my gaze struck beside her head to the wall. I didn't want to hear anything about him. I didn't want to hear his name. "Get up and change. We're going out."

"I'm not going out." I stood from the bean bag, flying my hands on the top of the head to wash away the drowsiness. "I'm going to sulk more."

"And what would you do?" She challenged me with a glare. "You came here to sulk? You could do that in Delhi also. What happened was wrong, okay? I know the year has been tough on you?"

"Tough?" I screamed and kicked the bottle with my foot. "Nothing is tough. People die every day and we fucking move on. Will everyone stop reminding me that this year is tough? This year is fine. I'm fine."