Destroying Myself (Myself #3)

17. The Brother I Lost Again

My hands laid at my side for few minutes, assessing what was happening in front of me. My mind was numb, not allowing for any thought to enter and let me think. All I could think was Kabir standing in front of me in three piece suit. My breath was hitched as I tried to find words to say something, but nothing worked.

Damn it, Nisha! Stop acting like a loon.

Finally, when his grip tightened around my frail body, I thumped against his hard chest and screeched, "C--can't breath, bro."

Instantly, his arms left my body and he stepped back, giving me space to breath and take my time to look at him after weeks. His hair were overgrown, stubble was almost covering his face and his black square glasses were making me laugh. He looked such a geek in them.

"Won't you invite me in?" He danced on his toes. Nodding my head, I step aside, letting him enter the suite and turn my rational thinking back on.

I rubbed my sweaty hand against my shorts, clicked my head and tried to act cool. I had to hide any fact that Rahul was here few minutes ago. No matter how much me and Kabir fought, I was aware of his big brother brooding nature even though we were minutes apart.

Turning, I saw him maundering his gaze around the suite with a smile grazing his lips, but I could see the hesitant look overclouding his face. 

What was he doing here? Wasn't he angry at me for being such a burden and all the poisonous words I uttered to his fiancé? 

As if realising, my eyes fell on his left hand, noticing the shining stone in his fourth finger. He never took it off even when the marriage was called off. He had said he couldn't do it. It wasn't in him to betray Alina with this. So, they both wore their rings, acting like fiancé but truth we all knew, truth always stayed between all of us.

Our family was wrecked. Our future was doomed. We were doomed.

"So--"

"What are you doing here?" I crossed my arms against my chest. 

He flexed his fingers and went to the direction of the bar, playing with the glasses. "I thought your anger would've cleared off by now."

"Mine or yours?" I drawled out. "Excuse me, but I didn't call you a burden."

He flinched, but soon covered it with a blank look. "I'm here for business meeting."

"How come from all over the world it had to happen in Goa?"

"Because I wanted to meet you," He said without any care. "I wanted to meet my sister because I was worried about her and I wanted to tell her that I miss her so much and that I'm sorry for calling a burden when I love her so much and that she could punish me if she wants but she needs to come back. I miss my sister."

"Maybe your sister doesn't miss you anymore," The lie tumbled down my tongue as my stare burned through him. 

How could he expect to come here and apologise for his actions just like that? It didn't work that way because his words were engraved in my mind, and most of everything, I was hurt and scared. Hurt he forgot I was his sister before saying me a burden. Scared I would go back to him and he would again do something to hurt me.

He closed his eyes for a momentary moment. Things we both did when the frustration was building in our chest. Go on, get angry on me, brother. That's what you were famous for. 

But much to my dismay, he flexed his fingers and nodded, "I deserve this. Can I sit?"

Not changing my gaze from him, I nodded and he marched to the couch and sat down, waiting for me to come and settle disputes among us.