day 4

399 25 11
                                    

!!warning!! scenes of self harm are down below, so if you are easily triggered (not trying to be funny I swear) feel free to skip :)

----

more, more, more.

he stood, face void of any emotion, any pain, any signs of human characteristics, razor in hand, wrist out, blood seeping through broken skin.

his eyes roamed over the lines of red, and he smiled. smiled because he knew he deserved this; he smiled because he likes it. the capability to harm yourself without anyone stopping you was a great feeling and god was he addicted. it was a drug, it was toxic, but he didn't care because he was already intoxicated with self hatred, depression, and christ knows what else. he was already fucking broken because he met kier.

it was a warm Thursday afternoon, the wind cheered with joy, the sun beaming with pride, and jack was still seán mcloughlin, a happy boy with a happy life. his eyes were still alive and alit with life, his smile held everything happy, his wrists weren't scarred with a bloody battlefield that he lost. no, he was jack, seán mcloughlin, happy and carefree.

and then he met kier.

he was just sipping away at his coffee until some wanker bumped into him. he spluttered and choked, coughing out a "hey!"

whoever had bumped into him turned around, eyes widen in surprise, "sorry mate!" he noticed jack still coughing up a fit and so he took him back inside the little shop to clean him up, not to mention also bought him another cuppa with his phone number scribbled on the lid.

he knew he shouldn't have called, he knew he shouldn't have met up with him again, he knew he shouldn't have befriended the bastard, he knew she shouldn't have said yes to a date.

and now here he is, jack mcloughlin while seán mcloughlin died ever since he met kier.

and then he cried because fuck did he miss being seán mcloughlin, happy and carefree with a reason to live. seán mcloughlin had a life while jack didn't. seán mcloughlin was happy and jack didn't even know what it felt like to smile with joy. seán mcloughlin had friends while jack only had a razor, his wrist, and his own thoughts. seán mcloughlin was alive and now he's dead and that's when jack mcloughlin was born.

------

happy new years !! i guess you can say i last updated a year ago *ba dum tss* yikes okay that was a shit joke. how are all of you? are you alright? happy? sad? frustrated? stressed? well, im here if you ever need support, just remember that (although im pretty shit at giving advice, yeesh). im just a PM away :) here's a cookie if you need it 🍪

-alex

damaged kisses; septiplierWhere stories live. Discover now