damaged kisses; septiplier

day 16

little bit of an existential crisis (rel8able amirite) goes on, so if you're someone who frequently has them and hates with his pure passion, feel free to skip

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two more days and mark will be able to see jack and, pray to god, help him.

four more days and jack mcloughlin would be dead.

four more days and mark's last bit of hope and love with ho down the drain.

four more days and jack's heart will stop beating.

five more days and mark's will too.

death is an odd concept. what's beyond the void? what will happen to you? is there really heaven and hell? just hell? just heaven? or maybe there's neither and your ghost will remain in that stuffy old coffin until the grounds shake and everything dies.

the thought of death didn't scare jack at all. he was embracing it, hugging it, loving it. it didn't faze him as much like it used to. life on earth was already shit enough, how can it get any shittier when he's dead?

jack awoke to sun blazing through the window, the light painting the carpet in its warmth. he grumbled and sat up, still tired from yesterday, the day before, last week, last month, last year, everything. he was just so tired, so, so tired.

who knew killing yourself was so tiring?

and jack laughed. it felt like forever since he last laughed. maybe it was forever.

the inevitable was just so funny to him. who cares what happens after death, you're still dead, and nothing will bring you back. death was just another part of your life that you'll have to embrace it and that was fine with jack. as long as he's dead, he's okay.

everything was okay to jack as long as it ends up with him six feet underground.

again, that didn't faze him at all.

mark sat in his room, his occasional midnight crisis of thoughts swimming in his head along with jack and his pretty eyes, and pretty smile, and pretty - wait.

those pretty eyes, and pretty smiles weren't jack. they were someone else's.

and that scared mark.

what did kier do to create such a monster? was it his fault? will jack end up like daniel?

is the jack he knew and loved still in there?

and he let a stray tear fall. he was so scared of this new jack, he had doubts upon visiting him. will it break him, break jack, or both?

maybe they weren't meant to collide, two opposites; but somehow fate wanted to screw with things, and set them on a collision course beyond their control, and now they're coming at each other too fast, to the point where someone will end up dead. maybe both.

but as long as mark was with jack, he couldn't give a damn. jack needed someone, and mark will be his someone. mark will help jack, even if it kills him. even if jack's toxic words choked him, even if jack's razors cut him, even if jack's cries deafened him. he will help.

just two more days and he'll be alright.

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so I just found out one of my best friends irl is reading this so @ friend: gO aWaY >:(((((()

hello, you're loved and lovely and wonderful and amazing and pretty and cute and you deserve happiness ok? ok.

-alex (aLSO MY BDAY IS TOMORROW WHSGDH)