Boy/Boy Problems

This couch doesn't have sides

As far as Teddy King was concerned he had already done his coming out.

He told his sister when he was fourteen.  They were both uncharacteristically sincere and there were more tears than either of them would ever admit to. He was wearing a red t-shirt, he remembered because it looked as though he was bleeding as his sister's tears soaked through his shoulder. It's a good memory, one he holds onto in the moment the despair threatens to consume.

He told his parents when he was seventeen and it wasn't bad, considering. They said the right things, hugged him and told him they loved him but Teddy wasn't surprised to hear them discussing how best to deal with the 'situation' as soon as he left the room. They never had to answer that question, not really. Teddy moved to the city less than a month later and the conversation was tabled. Until now.

Teddy even had the uncomfortable conversation with work colleagues. It was as awkward as imaginable and it didn't end the way Teddy expected but it happened, he had done it. That was all he needed to do. That was all he was expected to do. He didn't feel like he was lying, or hiding, even though some people would say he was. He was content. It should have been enough.

"I really think the blog thing is the way to go," continued Lily as though Teddy hadn't just blown up his world. "Or maybe a video, that might be better more personal less chance of people not believing you. You know kids these days, way too cynical with their conspiracy theories and all that."

The words were drowned out by Teddy's mind, it was louder than anything else. He let Lily talk but he wasn't listening. He was staring into space, into memories, into the abyss that was his all too trendy, not at all homely apartment. His eyes darted around the room searching for something, anything, to stop him from spiralling out of control.

"This couch doesn't have sides," said Teddy cutting through Lily's commentary.

"What?" asked Lily.

"This couch doesn't have sides," said Teddy standing to walk towards the edge of the couch, which just dropped off. It was a strange thing to notice but it was in the moment the only thing that mattered. This couch didn't have arms, there was nowhere for him to lean, nowhere to sit if the seat was full. Nothing to rest against if he was waiting for someone to get ready in the bedroom. There was nothing holding him there, nothing stopping him from falling. It was hazardous. Dangerous. It shouldn't be allowed.

"And I repeat: what?" asked Lily.

"There are no arms on this couch!" Teddy said a little louder than anyone in their right mind should be when talking about furniture.

"Some couchs don't have arms," said Lily.

"What if I fell of the side?" asked Teddy, the slight laugh in his voice adding a little hysteria to the situation.

"Okay," said Lily elongating the syllables likes a teenager pretending they're not going to ignore whatever advice they were just given. "I don't think this is about the couch."

"Of course it's about the couch."

"It's not about the couch."

"It might not be all about the couch. But some of it is about the couch."

"You can afford a new couch little bro," said Lily with a sigh the enthusiasm that had engulfed her earlier stiffened away by concern.

"You said I couldn't get Rah to buy us a couch," said Teddy.

"I said you couldn't do it at 8pm on what has to be one of the most stressful days of her career," said Lily. "I didn't say you weren't allowed to make any purchases ever."