Boy/Boy Problems

Tequila Confessions

Lily and Teddy King didn't often get the chance to drink together. When they did they solved the world's problems in an evening. They drank more than they should but less than some might think considering one of them was a full time student and the other was a pop star. It was cathartic to imagine all the things they could do, maybe, one day but it was generally understood that they wouldn't actually do those things. Which is why Teddy was so shocked when Lily pulled her well loved laptop out of her button covered brown satchel and placed it on the coffee table.

"What is this?" asked Teddy.

"It's a computer," replied Lily.

"Obviously, I meant what are you doing with it."

"We need it so you can tell the Internet you like cock," said Lily giggling at her own crassness.

"We are not actually doing that."

"What do you mean? Of course we're doing it."

"No we're not. We're going to talk about it and pretend we did then we're going to pass up and in the morning I'll talk to Rah about doing this the proper way."

There was no answer. Lily continued to set up her computer, which was a difficult task as she couldn't quite make her fingers hit the right keys.

"Lily I'm serious. There are more people than you and me involved in this."

"How so?"

"People depend on me."

"People exploit you."

Teddy's hand shot out to stop his sister from typing whatever she was about to type. He didn't think she would post anything without his permission, but tequila made people do things they wouldn't always do. Lily's stopped at Teddy's touch, turning her hand to take hold of his.

Lily avoided eye contact as she spoke, "I'm worried that if you don't do it now you'll have to wait another ten years."

"That won't happen, I won't let that happen. You know what I'm like when I've made up my mind about something. This is happening."

"You say that, but I watched it happened last time. They have facts and figures and families and they will tell you it's just for a little while. Just until all this blows over. Just until the next album comes out. Just until after the tour. You'll agree because you want to make everyone happy and say it doesn't bother you, that you're happy, but you're not and you know it."

"Well that got deep fast."

"Don't blame me. It's the tequila," said Lily finally looking at her brother, tears building in her eyes.

Teddy wanted to cry as well. Not because of the decisions he had made in the past but because his sister seemed to think he was a better person than he was. He remembered that meeting, it was one of about a hundred where people sat around and made decisions about who Teddy was going to be. He's not completely naive, he knows he was pushed into a lot of decisions that weren't necessarily his own. In fact he was so aware of it that he had used it to get around uncomfortable questions about his sister asked about his sexuality that he didn't want to answer. He used those early meetings as a shield every time she asked when the truth was he didn't want to come out.

"I don't want to come out," said Teddy letting go of his sister's hand and grabbing the bottle of tequila from the table taking a large sip for the courage to continue.

Lily's mouth fell open, "What?"

"Well I do, now, sort of. But I didn't. Before now." He was not doing a very good job of this. Some of that was a tequila but most of it was because he wasn't exactly sure what he was feeling and the bits he did understand felt too shameful to say out loud.