44 | cries of despair

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The moment you ran away, I suffered so much more.

ASHTON'S EYES WIDEN

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ASHTON'S EYES WIDEN. He places unsteady fingertips to his lips.

Did I just say that?

He shoots up from his position, careful to lie Ria back in the pile of pillows and blankets. "Holy shit," he breathes. "I love her?" He laughs as a feeling light as air fills his lungs and turns to face the ocean. "I love her," he says again as if the waves climbing up the sand can understand exactly what he's saying. He turns around to Ria as she rustles and gets swallowed up in blankets. Holy-

Ashton jabs his fingers through his hair and smiles to himself. I can't believe I said it. After almost five years, he finds himself falling for another woman. This time I'll do it right.

Laughter bubbles from his lips as the most invigorating sensation cascades his soul. What now? He rubs his jaw and his legs pull him into feverish pacing. Should I tell her? Limbs freeze at the thought; uncertainty holds him hostage.

What should I do?

"I need to call Daniel." Ashton scampers back inside the cabin, careful to step over Ria without waking her. He fumbles through his things and until he finds the reassuring cool surface of his phone. "Sorry, Ria, I need to break the rules just this once."

Turning his phone on releases an onslaught of messages and notifications. A couple are from Jared and most of the others from Dea and Daniel. He selects Daniel's icon and waits with bated breath. The line rings and each time it does, his heart beats a little faster. His hands shake and he finds solace in biting his thumbnail.

A moment later, a groggy Daniel picks up the phone. "Ash" - he clears his throat - "I'm so glad you called. I have so much-"

"Daniel, I told her," Ashton blurts. Anxiousness pulls him into another pace around the compact area.

"Told her?" His voice weakens. "Told who? Ria? What did you tell her?"

"Almost everything." He laughs and rubs his neck. "About my family, the drugs, my relationship with Vivian...the part that doesn't include her getting me involved with the mafia. That can wait for now. I-I mean, I just told her that I love her."

"What?" Daniel hisses. "What did we talk about, Ashton? I knew this was going to happen if you were with her for too long. She got into your head. W-what did she say?"

"I mean, she's sleep, but that doesn't matter. I know what we always say, but she's changed all of the rules. I've never met a woman like her before. I love her and I want to tell-"

"No. You can't tell her anything, Ashton." His voice is frantic now, heavy breathing filling up the receiver.

"W-why not? Daniel, I want to tell her. I just don't know how."

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