Eddie smiled at me as I slowly took another step closer to him. I felt him gently grab my hand.
"Do you want to go up to our room to talk?" I smiled and tilted my head forward again. I was still embarrassed about talking to him. Maybe this is a bad idea. Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut. If I tell him he might think I'm a pointless mess. Maybe he'll think that there's no hope for us. Because of me.
He slowly and gently dragged me upstairs. He still had a hold of my hand as he quietly pulled me up to our room.
Once we got to the top of the stairs he released my hand and slowly went to open the door leading into our room. He glanced back at me with a small smile on his face as held the door open. I returned the smile and entered brightly light room.
The sun was streaming through the window. The light beams shone across both of our beds. Even though we've been together for a while now we still have separate beds. I slowly walked over to my own and slouched down. I sat back so my back was leaning against the wall at the head of the bed. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back against the wall.
What was I going to say? Should I tell him exactly how I feel? Or should I tell some of it but leave out the parts that will make me look pathetic? I felt the bed go down next to me. I raised my head back up to it's normal position and sighed. Guess I better start talking.
"Eddie, I'm sorry for everything I've put you through but-" My mouth suddenly went dry and a lump had formed in my throat. I swallowed it and tried to continue "I-I, I'm just... afraid. I'm afraid of... b-being judged and I'm afraid of... g-going all the- any further with you. I'm terrified Eddie" I had tilted my head forward as I spoke. I'm ashamed in myself. Ashamed that I'm letting peoples judgments get to me. Or should I say the thought of peoples judgments.
After I had finished confessing Eddie didn't speak. He just sat there looking at his feet down the bed. What was he thinking? Why was he taking so long to respond? I turned my head away from him as tears once again threatened my eyes. Why was he so quiet? I felt a slight pressure on my thigh and I turned my head to see Eddie now looking in my direction, smiling. I smiled back at him, still thinking about what was going through his head.
"Aleks, it's okay. You don't have to worry about anyone's judgment and I don't want to be one of the reasons why you're terrified. I want to be the one you come to when you need comforting or if you need someone to talk to. And no one is going to judge you because no one else is going to know until your ready. You also don't have to worry about going any further with me because I can wait. I want you to feel comfortable and not forced if we do anything else, so you have nothing to scared about"
I felt a smile tug at my lips but soon fade.
"Eddie are you ready?" He looked at me confused.
"W-What do you mean?"
"I want to know if you're ready because if you are and I'm making you wait then, then-" I didn't know how to finish. I don't even know what I was expecting when I asked. I was hoping that he would say that he's not, which would make me feel better about waiting. But what if he is?
"A-Aleks, don't worry about me being ready. Focus on yourself"
"Are you ready?" I repeated myself
"Aleks it doesn't-"
"Answer the questing Eddie" I was getting inpatient. Why was he avoiding the question.
"FINE, I am ready Aleks. I've been ready for months now" His head was tilted forward as he answered.
He was ready. He's been ready for months now. We've only been together for 2 months. I froze not knowing what to say. So he's been waiting for me all this time. I turned my head away from him again. The tears that I had been trying hard to hold back streamed down my face.
YOU ARE READING
BestFriends? (Immortalfox)
Fanfiction(Cover by RoseMitch) Aleks and Eddie never expected this to happen. They never thought this is how their lives would end up. They've been best friends for as long as they can remember and would never hurt one another. But after showing a slight bit...
