LOVE LIFE AND PAIN

Hurt...self doubt

I feel really hurt
By him and everyone around me
Doesn't him understand that I need him desperately right now
I am so lonely but rather keep my mouth closed in silent
I know I act like I am happy  really well
But what to up point can I hold myself to face his cold shoulder and rejection

My tears have been my only friend now
Everyday and every night
Am I too selfish to ask for his affection
I know everyone has their own life but I feel lost right now

Am I always being stupid
Always been dreaming in  hope
Always hoping but get nothing
Always thinking everyone is so different
But now apparently they are all the same
In many ways..in many attitude
Sadly they failed to noticed me,my needs and desires
And the only see how pathetic I am for seeking their attention

Can someone be really honest with me
Who won't judge me with the desicion I have made
Everything is for a reason
The reason that no one would understand unless they are me

Am I too blind to see the game of life in this world
Am I the only fool who lets another take control on my life
Now I want to be free but I still stand in the same spot
I see the injustice in my way
Now only hurt I feel

When the someone who promises to be with me is silently trying to step away
The one who say he loves me
abused my mental and I never noticed
I realise now it is too late for me to fix anything

This pain makes me want to scream aloud
To show this world how hurt I feel deep inside right now
But is there anyone willing to listen to my cries
Or only a loud laughter will be thrown back at me
Laughter with cynical words saying I don't deserve happiness
That is what I have to face
The fact I am simply bad luck from the first day I was born
Listen to me world...end my hurt
I've already been abandon once and now it happens over again
I don't deserve any love,attention or care...only hurt

No one can stand with me each day
I only distract people around me
I give them the painful friendships once they know me and my struggles...

BY SUE
17012017