A drunken mistake?

Chapter 4

Jonathan pov.

"Hey, it's me... again. Evan please, it's been 4 weeks now. Please pick up, I can't do this on my own. ANSWER ME PLEASE!" "Your voice message has been sent".
4 weeks, a whole month, since my world broke down. I had been calling Evan every day now, leaving a lot of voice messages. Some of them where I'm crying, yelling or screaming at him, even laughing because I didn't understand what to do. I haven't been sleeping right and the only reason I have had to eat was because of the thing... I don't even know what to call it. Boy or girl, Evan could never love it, or me. Luke have been coming over to see how I was holding up. Buying me groceries and all the necessaries. When he was over I didn't say anything, because he knew, just by how I looked at him and giving him weak smiles for helping me how it all was tearing me up.
The days went by fast. Waking up after I had cried myself to sleep, going to the bathroom and look at myself with disgust and disappointment, but something or someone held me here, wanting me to stay alive and fight. Looking down, my "baby bump" have been gotten bigger. It made me smile a little, looking at it, but if you didn't know, you couldn't tell. I wanted to call Evan so bad, to hear his soothing voice again, the one that calms me, but I decided to call Luke instead. I needed to get some fresh air and tell him that I have accepted that this is how my life is now. I am going to have this child and love him or her. To tell him that this baby is not an it or a thing anymore. I also needed a ride to the hospital since I had an appointment for a scan.
Luke knocked on my door and I opened it. Before I could even do something, I was embraced by a warm and tight hug, by my best friend, who had always been there for me, through everything. "Are you back to being my delirious again?" He asked, tilting his head to one side and smiling at me and I nodded. "I have really missed you man, you have no idea how depressing it has been for me seeing you like this. I don't think it has ever been this bad, but I think you have made it through. You are stronger than you look Jon." I smiled at his last comment and punched his arm lightly, chuckling.
Sitting in the waiting room at the hospital, my name was suddenly called. I stood up, but Luke grabbed my arm. "You want me to go with you?" He asked. "if you want to." My face flushed red when he grabbed my hand and said "You're my little brother, of course, I want to, I wouldn't miss it for the world!"
Laying in the bed and looking at the screen, everything became so real for the first time. "Everything looks fine Jonathan, as it should be I suppose." The doctor said with a smile. I then got a new appointment in a couple of weeks. We were then told we could leave.
Evan needs to know. Maybe if he knows everything is alright, he will call back.
Luke dropped me off at home, but he needed to get going quickly after. I unlocked my door and got in, laying on my bed and staring up at the ceiling. I smiled, for the first time in weeks. I had this bubbly feeling in my gut and I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. It finally caught up to me that I had a little life growing in me. I need to call him. I dialed his number and rang.
E: "What do you want?"
He actually picked up!
J: "I need to talk to you, please, don't hang up."
E: "You know, I can't do this. I can't go through this with you..."
J: "Just listen to me for once! I got scanned toda..."
E: "I DON'T want to hear this!"
He cut me off.
J: "PLEASE EVAN! Let me finish talking. I got scanned today and... and everything is okay with him!"
E: "HIM? What do you mean him?"
J: "Okay, I don't know the gender yet, I just feel like it's a him. I can't explain how I know, but I just do."
J: "Can we meet?"
He was silent, but then answered.
E: "Okay... when?"
J: "Come with me to my next scan, please."
E: "Absolutely fucking NOT!"
J: "I really need you to see him! I finally realized how big and real all of this was after I got scanned and I need you to see this for yourself and I hope that you will realize it too."
He hesitated.
E: "Alright, I'll come... But you need to know I can't tell anybody about this, neither can you!"
My heart sank a little by his words. Was he ashamed? Would this have such a big effect on his so-called reputation, his job or his family? I agreed to his commissions because I just wanted to see him so bad.
J: "Okay, fine, I just really need to see you. And by the way Luke knows, I had to tell him after you left me at the hospital."
E: "Yeah, I actually feel really bad about that, sorry, but I didn't know how to cope after finding out that I... you were... fuck, I don't even know if I can say it."
J: "Practice on saying it till we meet, it would mean a lot to me."
E: "Look man, I need to go, it's late. Bye Jon."
J: "Goodbye Evan."

In a couple of weeks, I get to see him again. All these thoughts spun around, how was I going to approach him? With a hug? Stop thinking! The important thing was he was coming to see me and him. I felt like I could certainly get a good night's sleep, knowing Evan was coming. For once my mind stopped thinking about all the bad things that could happen.
It's not much, but it's better than nothing.