WARNING
*** Please if you have any mental illness or sensitive to negativity and could possibly be affected then do not read this. Thank you***
There is a voice screaming in my mind,
it has a speech,
spinning its words into pins,
dragging them on my skin,
while burning me from within,
I hear the voice as it says,
"You are a piece of shit,
Everyone thinks you are a waste of time,
A hoe,
Annoying,
No one is going to look out for you or care about you,
because others always will come first,
You are too much to deal with,
Why don't you do everyone a favor and die?
Or leave?
Why would you even matter anyway?
Have you met yourself?
They hang out with you out of obligation.
Nothing else.
They hate so many things about you.
Even this.
You are disgusting.
Honestly, go kill yourself,
I can't even stand to be near you"
I shake my head,
no this cannot be true but it brings reality,
the reality that nothing ever stays,
no one ever stays,
everyone walks away,
from you,
As it taunts me even more,
it brings the one person who controls my mind,
my soul and my heart,
the one who walked away from my broken shards,
as my skin scratched,
bled,
got infected,
Still,
it takes all advantage it can to remind me,
to "help" me see,
to bring the logic back,
to help fix the damage which is a hole,
the invention of myself,
the shattered mirror which I broke with,
my imperfections and doubts,
The voice screams yet again,
"He doesn't like you,
He doesn't like your personality,
He doesn't like your actions,
He doesn't like your moods,
He doesn't like your looks,
He doesn't like your overthinking,
He doesn't like your negativity,
He doesn't like your hope,
He doesn't like the way you think,
He doesn't like you,
He thinks you are closed minded,
He thinks you are too sensitive,
You should die and go to hell,
You are ruining his life,
He thinks you are an attention whore,
He thinks you are a slut,
He thinks you have no respect for yourself,
He thinks you will sleep with any guy,
He thinks you are the ugliest version of a female,
He hopes he never meets anyone else like you ever again,
He will never in a million years love you,
You are annoying and a nuisance,
You are evil and stupid,
He hates you,
He doesn't want to be associated with you,
He doesn't want to hang out with you,
He hates you,
He despises you,
He would never want to see you again,
Lastly, you are the worst thing that could have happened to him,
So, go kill yourself because I hate you and so does he "
I take all this information with the silence of my nights,
and days,
realize perhaps there is a truth,
as i lay awake,
knowing nothing could matter,
nothing about me could ever matter,
if my love for him didn't make him stay,
my love for anyone never makes anyone stay,
time to accept that love is not for me,
loneliness is all i see,
no love or hope will be granted,
because i am not the girl which anyone would want to spend all eternity.
YOU ARE READING
Chapters of Irrationality
PoetryI write emotional poetry and try to create beautiful imagery as I describe all the situations that people deal with in their lives. This is a collection of my true inner thoughts and feelings. Yet, I like to keep little mystery so I am curious to k...
