Worthless (Unedited Version)

Chapter 22

~Asher's POV~

I didn't know what to do. Everything was jumbled. I was wearing clothes, but what would it really accomplish? Tugging at the restricting fabric, I thought back to Kade's words: 

I don't want to see your body like that.

It hurt. It hurt so much that he didn't want to see me, to see my body. Doubts flooded my mind as I made my way outside, unsure exactly where I was going. Did he not want me? Was I not good enough? Does he hate me? Everything seemed to hurt. It was like my whole body throbbed with the ache of rejection.

I wandered through the woods, randomly choosing directions. My trail would be almost impossible to untangle for the average tracker. Pain laced my heart as I remembered how Kade would brag about my knack for making even the best trackers lost. Rory would grumble and claim it never happened to him and they'd go back and forth as the rest of us watched on amused.

Why did I have to ruin things?

I don't understand why I felt such an intense need to touch Kade, to mark him. I pushed too far. We could never go back to the innocence of our relationship again. I didn't even stop to ask if he was okay, all that was in my mind was to join with him.

He obviously regretted it, having left the room early in the morning and not wanting to see me. I know he came by the room I was hiding in, but that didn't mean he wasn't still upset. Kade's a nice guy, he would try and be civil. Plus, the others probably convinced him to try and talk to me. I doubt he even wanted to though. I wouldn't blame him.

I came to a stop when a small clearing came into view. My heart thudded loudly in my chest. This was the same clearing I used to sit in for hours, wishing I could be on this side. The warning against going near here rang in my mind. Even so, I exited the tree line.

It was chilly, but the clothing kept me warm, not that I liked them. I took small, hesitant steps into the clearing, my senses straining to pick up anything unusual. My feet came to a halt when I reached the border. I looked across, opposite of how I had a long time ago, before sitting down.

I thought about my life before. It was empty of anything good. Well, besides Riley and Fallon though I used to think them more of a burden. I felt I had to protect them and that usually brought me pain. Looking back though, I know I would do it again. All the beatings were nothing compared to the pain I was feeling now, but even so, my life was better. I had a pack, a family, something I never had with my fake father.

I didn't know exactly how I felt about him. For so many years I thought he was my birth father, that he had a right to treat me as he did because he gave me life. Now that I realized that my real father, Kaleb, was a part of this pack, that he killed himself because of my mother's death, I didn't feel anything but disgust for the man who beat me. Hell, I didn't even know his name.

I thought back, with teary eyes, to the time Liam and Rowan took me to their parent's home and introduced me as the child of their older brother. Tears ran down their faces as they embraced me, not once blaming me for their son's death. They welcomed me, taking me into their home where we looked through countless photo albums, each photo coming with a story. I showed them the picture I had, the one currently in my pocket, and let them scan it, happy that there would always be a copy of it.

After that, we ate and talked. I didn't tell them my past, though I knew that they knew, the whole pack probably knew a little bit. They didn't ask any questions about it, instead, they asked how I liked the pack and telling me all the things we could do together. It was great and lasted until Kade came to get me when the sun began to set, igniting a teary farewell and promises to visit often.