Meant to be Broken [boyxboy] [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter Ten

Ives made himself go Christmas shopping the following Friday. It took him forever to settle on gifts that were thoughtful, yet affordable, for his mother and sister; bubble bath for his mom and a gift card for his sister. He debated getting Tomi a gift, but ultimately decided against it because he didn't want to get him something and not get anything in return. He knew that would make Tomi feel guilty.

He'd actually been thinking about Tomi all week, ever since their conversation at Tomi's house. More than once, Ives caught himself wondering if he could have a chance with Tomi, that maybe they could be more than friends. After all, Tomi was texting him daily now.

But he also had his doubts. Just because Tomi was bisexual, and had told Ives, didn't mean he actually wanted to date Ives. It was probably just that Ives was the easiest person for him to talk to about it.

The more Ives thought about all of this, though, the more he felt the need to find out how Tomi felt, no matter what those feelings were. If Tomi didn't want anything more from their relationship, Ives was sure they would be able to figure out a way to remain friends, even if it took a while.

That was how he finally came to a conclusion about what to do about Christmas.

There was no archery practice the Saturday before Christmas, so Ives called Tomi a couple of hours earlier than he normally would have texted him.

"Hey," he began when Tomi answered, "I know you said you were doing family stuff this weekend, but do you think there'd be time for me to come give you a Christmas present?"

"You got me a present?" Tomi sounded surprised. "I didn't get you anything..."

Ives almost tripped over a math textbook sitting on his floor as he began pacing his room. He kicked the book under his bed. "Don't worry about it, it's nothing really big." Even though it was symbolically massive. "So, can I come give it to you?"

"I guess. My parents aren't home, so I don't have much 'family stuff' to do until they get back from shopping later. I thought you had practice?" Tomi asked.

"Not this week. So now is a good time to come over?" Ives and a hand through his hair nervously.

"Yeah," his friend answered. "I'm not doing much but some wrapping and after-thought decorating."

Ives changed the angle of his pacing, this time tripping over a sneaker. "After-thought decorating?" he repeated, confused.

"Mom got some stuff as an afterthought that she wants me to take care of. Though, she'll probably change it all, because I'm not a freaking designer," he added in a grumble.

"Maybe I can help," Ives offered.

"I doubt it would hurt," Tomi replied.

"I'll be right over," Ives stated.

Throughout the entire drive to Tomi's house in Madison, Ives could feel his stomach doing gymnastics. He kept imagining Tomi rejecting him, and it made him too afraid to even try imagining the opposite happening. By the time he parked in the Miliani's driveway he had to take several deep breathes before he could get out of the car. By the time he reached the front door he had almost lost his nerve completely.

Tomi called for him to come in when he rang the doorbell, and he had to take another deep breath before he could obey. Inside, he kicked his sneakers off and unzipped his coat. He found Tomi in the living room in front of a large Christmas tree, a string of red, green, and white beads hanging half on the tree and half around Tomi's neck. Tomi was wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a plain black tee-shirt.

"Great, you can help me with these stupid things," Tomi said as soon as he saw Ives. "They keep getting tangled."

"No problem," Ives replied, pulling off his coat and setting it on the couch. He walked over to Tomi, who was trying to get the string of beads untangled without taking it off the tree or himself. Ives reached out for the beads and suddenly knew that if he didn't do what he'd come to do immediately, he'd change his mind.

He tugged Tomi closer, using the beads wrapped around his friend's shoulders, and gave him a firm kiss on the lips.

Tomi's eyes were wide when Ives pulled back. His anxiety level was almost making him sick, but he managed to ask, "Did I freak you out?"

A flush instantly appeared on Tomi's cheeks, and he shook his head slightly. "No," he stated, his voice catching strangely. He reached one hand out to Ives.

Ives moved close again and pulled Tomi into his arms, unable to hold back his relief. "Good," he said, before kissing Tomi again.

Tomi put his arms around Ives and kissed him back. Ives could feel the beads pressing into his chest, but it didn't bother him. He was too happy with what was happening to care.

When they finally pulled away, Tomi grimaced and rubbed his chest. "Ouch."

"Sorry," Ives said, rubbing his own chest and feeling many circular indents through his tee-shirt.

Tomi smiled. "It's okay."

Ives returned the smile. "So, Merry Christmas."

"Same to you," Tomi replied. "And I'm glad you know now."

Ives raised an eyebrow. "Know what?"

Tomi blushed. "That I've been crushing on you."

Ives grinned. "For how long?"

Tomi shrugged. "Since I met you, I guess. Helped me finally realize that I'm bi, too."

"I've had a crush on you for a while, too," Ives admitted. "So, do you still want help?"

"Oh, yeah." Tomi started pulling the beads off himself. "This is a mess."

Ives took the beads. "I'll untangle, you put them on the tree."

Tomi nodded. "Good idea."

Ives went home as soon as the tree was finished, just as Tomi's parents were coming home. For Tomi's sake, Ives resisted the urge to give him a good-bye kiss. Instead, he just smiled and waved. When he got home, he went onto his online profile page and clicked on the Edit button. His relationship status was set as single, but he clicked the Hide Relationship Status option. After saving, he scrolled through his friends list and clicked on Tomi's name. He smiled when he noticed that Tomi had updated his status with just a smiley face, no words. Tomi had also hidden his relationship status, but his profile still said that he was interested in women – which was only a slight half-lie, Ives admitted to himself. After all, Ives hated that his profile could only say that he was interested in women and men, which was more of a misrepresentation than Tomi's profile was, in his opinion.

Thinking of their afternoon together helped him sleep soundly that night, until he was awoken by his phone vibrating next to his head at 9:45 the next morning. He grabbed the phone and smiled when he saw a new text from Tomi.

Should I say something to my parents?

Ives' immediate thought was to reply with a yes, but then he thought about what that might do to Tomi. He had hardly started to accept himself, and it wasn't likely that he would be able to deal with his parents yet.

Only if you're ready, he texted back.

I don't know... was the reply.

Ives rolled over onto his back. Wait until you're ready. It's OK.

You sure?

The last thing Ives had always thought he wanted was a hidden relationship. He hadn't expected that to change. Yeah. Accept yourself before you tell them.

Thanks Ives. I'm sorry that I need time.

Don't worry Tomi. I know.

I hope I can see you soon.

Ives smiled. So do I.