Meant to be Broken [boyxboy] [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter Thirty-One

Ives awoke a few hours later, and again cursed himself for drinking Mountain Dew so soon before going to bed. He had moved a short distance away from Tomi in his sleep, but still had to wake him up in order to get out of bed – the bed was in a corner, with a wall on each side and a large chair currently piled with random items sitting at the foot of the bed. Ives was not about to risk finding out what was on that chair while he was naked, so he was left with the option to climb over his sleeping boyfriend.

Ives kissed Tomi's forehead in an effort to give him a warning before he just climbed over him. Tomi stirred and opened his eyes to look at him sleepily.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Ives explained. "I didn't want to just climb over you and freak you out."

Tomi rolled over onto his stomach so Ives could get over him easier, and mumbled, "Hurry back," as Ives left the bed.

"I will," Ives promised as he pulled his underwear on – he thought they were his anyway.

Before he left the bathroom, Ives took a look at himself in the mirror. Without a shirt on, he could clearly see the scars on his forearms, scars that he still tried to hide with sleeves even though it was June. He couldn't help but wonder, though, if getting some color on his arms would make the scars stand out more or less.

Back in October, he would have thought the guy looking back at him from the mirror was a messed up freak with no future and no reason to exist, someone who hit on people just to get a reaction, drank illegally almost every night while his mom and sister minded their own business, and cut himself to make the emotional pain become physical and easier to bear. Now, though, he saw a guy with a future, hopefully one shared with the same person who frequently looked at himself in the same mirror. He even realized that he was happy, and that he had been almost constantly happy since meeting Tomi.

He no longer hit on strangers. He no longer cut his own skin for release. The bottles in his closet were now empty and were slowly being moved to the garbage can each week. He had everything that he needed.

When he got back into bed, Tomi surprised him once more. Tomi forced him onto his back with a kiss and asked, "Can I show you how much I love you?"

Ives held him close and whispered, "God, you are more than welcome to."

Tomi smiled. "I didn't realize I got to be God."

Ives kissed him and said, "You are everything."

And Ives knew it was true. Not once did Ives think about his experiences at archery camp while they made love again, and he found it just as magical and incredible as it had been when their roles were reversed.

All he knew, was that there was no way he was ever going to give up Tomi without a fight. Tomi had saved his life – and if not his life, than his sanity, for certain – by coming into his life, and Ives wanted nothing else.

He was happy.