Meant to be Broken [boyxboy] [Watty Awards 2012]

Chapter Eleven

Christmas was anything but merry for Ives. He went along to his aunt's house in Walton, and spent the day alternating between stuffing his face and watching his infant cousin playing with his new toys from Santa. Kylle ignored their cousin completely, lounging on the couch next to the Christmas tree with her iPod blaring and her phone constantly binging with text messages. The only person Ives had to text was Tomi, and each time he got a message from him, Ives excitedly pulled his phone from his pocket and quickly tapped a reply. In the kitchen, his aunt and mother spent most of the day arguing.

Christmas seemed so pointless now that Ives was older than ten. He never got any fun toys like he used to – not that he wanted any – and only got money. His family didn't even get him gift cards, because they never knew where he liked to buy things from. At least he had periodic texts from Tomi to break up the misery.

New Year's Eve wasn't any better, except that Ives could actually go to bed instead of celebrating. He was happy to be woken up at midnight, though, because it was a text from Tomi that brought him out of sleep.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Ives grinned. You too, he texted back.

Did I wake you up?

Yeah. Don't worry about it. Always glad to hear from you.

I'll let you go back to sleep. Goodnight.

Goodnight, Ives replied. He smiled as he curled up comfortably and started falling back to sleep.

The next Saturday Ives finally got to see Tomi again. Ives picked Tomi up on his way to the mall to get his hair done, and offered to pay for Tomi to get his hair done as well, which Tomi reluctantly agreed to. In return, Tomi paid for Ives' lunch when they stopped at a pretzel shop near the hair salon. Beyond that, Tomi didn't seem to want to act very couple-y, but Ives understood – at least, he tried to. The girl at the desk at the salon did give them a curious look when Ives paid, which made Tomi's face blush quite intensely, but she just winked and told them to have a good day.

When they got back into Ives' car, though, Tomi grabbed his hand. "I'm sorry."

Ives raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

Tomi shook his head and stared at his lap. "Being so..."

"Cautious?" Ives suggested.

"I guess that's one word for it," Tomi sighed, shrugging.

Ives squeezed his hand. "Hey, it's okay. You need time, I get it."

"But... I want to be with you," Tomi said quietly.

Ives was confused. "You are."

Tomi leaned back in the passenger seat. "I mean... I keep thinking about how I want to hold your hand, and kiss you, and be close to you. But... I'm scared."

"Of your parents?" Ives asked.

Tomi nodded. "Yeah, I mean, they're good friends with Seth's parents, but I don't know how they'd feel about their own son..."

"Seth's parents?" Ives repeated. Tomi talked about his school friends a lot, but he didn't recall ever being told that one of his friends had gay parents.

"Yeah. Seth Salvador-Knight," Tomi clarified. "That's why his name's hyphenated, it's both of his dads' names. I forgot I never mentioned that."

"It makes sense though." He squeezed Tomi's hand again. "It's okay. If you're not ready to come out, it's not like I'd force you to."

Tomi nodded. "I feel bad for you, though."

Ives shrugged. "It's not like everyone in the world knows my sexuality. It's not something that really matters to me. I just like being myself and letting others draw their own conclusions. I'm not telling you to live your life like that, it's just what works for me."