Don't Let Me Push You Away (Simon Minter Fanfic)

Chapter 34

"He fought so hard for me," I couldn't help but smile at the memories of me and Simon.  Gabbie sat on her couch across from me, looking intrigued by my story telling.  We just got drone recording a video of us giving sex advice.  She often made videos of risqué topics.

Her black and blue hair was pushed to the side as she moved closer to me.  "What do you mean?"

"When he first met me I was so set on destroying myself that dating him felt impossible.  Harry was the one I kissed and gravitated toward because it was easy.  Simon showed me what it was like to be loved even when I didn't make it easy for him."

"And you left all of that because of a misunderstanding all of your friends.  I have to be missing something."

My laughter only confused her more, no one would ever really get it.  Even I knew how confusing of a girl I was.  Always on a different mindset that everyone else.  "It's hard to explain.  They fixed me when it wasn't their job to.  Since then it almost felt like they were waiting for me to go off the deep end.  Do you know how devastating it was to know that every single one of them didn't think there was a possibility that I didn't kiss Harry?  Without me, it'll be the break they need and it gives me a fresh start as a new Kelsey."

Gabbie nodded her head and I could tell she was really trying to make sense of it all.  We were completely different but somehow it worked.  The two of us hung out almost as much as JC and I did, which was like every day.  "Okay so enough of depressing talk.  What about you and JC?"  She winked at me and patted my leg.  I swear all this girl thought about was sex.

"He's great, but I'm not ready to be in a relationship."

"Isn't that the same thing you said before you started dating Simon?  You'll never know unless you try."

"It's different this time.  Before Simon I was just getting out of a horrible relationship, afraid that I'd never trust to be that vulnerable again.  Now... that it's after Simone I don't think anyone will ever live up to what we had.  It was brilliant, Gabbie.  Besides, I've always been really great at being single."  I stopped talking after that, the truth finally sinking in.  The epic, crazy, dysfunctional love story of Kelsey and Simon had come to an end.  I didn't even know something like that could have an expiration date.  We were obsessed with each other.

We were done.

I had to start over again.

How in the fuck could I start over with someone who wasn't my six foot four, cheesy, blue eyed weirdo?  That's not beginning again, that's losing half of me.  Leaving was the only option I felt I had, but was moving on one?  No matter who I crossed paths with or how far I was, there would only ever be one Simon Minter.  He'd find someone else, that I knew.  Someone he could trust, perhaps wouldn't believe she could do something so low as cheat on him with his best friend.  And I loved him.

Always have, always will.

So if that means I have to allow him to find a girl that wasn't me, than I would do that.

"Are you okay Kelsey?"  It wasn't until after Gabbie placed a hand on my shoulder that I realized I had been staring at the same spot on her carpet for ages.  Probably could have all say if I was left uninterrupted.

My smile was fake and she could see right through it.  "Yeah, sorry, you've got me reminiscing of home."

"As much as it pains me to say, you can always go back, they'll all be glad, I'm sure."

Would they though?  JJ would, that I knew for sure.  And I'd like to think Josh and Vik never really wanted me to leave in the first place.  Only trying to be good friends to the both of us.  But the one bit who was supposed to miss me the most hadn't tried calling me once.  Maybe it wouldn't be enough to bring me back to London but we were together for over seven months and it even once did I get a text from him apologizing for making a rash assumption.