Don't Let Me Push You Away (Simon Minter Fanfic)

Chapter 36

Things did get complicated.  At least for me.  After the day that JC and I agreed to keep it casual is was anything but.  He posted pictures of me on his Instagram and Twitter, white it was flattering, it also gave people the wrong impression.  I was beginning to think that he wanted them to.  Any girl would be blessed to have him but when I said I wanted to be single, I meant it.

It was hard to explain.  Sometimes us hanging out and holding hands didn't bother me and other times, I suffocated me.  Like JC's thought on casual dating was mine on serious dating.  I made myself feel better by saying it wasn't technically leading him on but it still felt like I was.  Maybe I would eventually start liking him, or maybe those feelings for never come.  How can the twists of life and it's emotions be considered stringing someone along?

JJ was sort of going crazy, constantly telling me how things were all fucked without me.  As much as I wanted to believe he was exaggerating, the things he told me said otherwise.  How him and Vik got into a fight because of me, or how Cal blames everyone for making me leave.  Which I already knew because Cal and I never stopped talking.  Or Freya, who was close to coming to California with me for a fresh start. That would be amazing but she had her own life there she had to worry about.  Gabbie did help me not miss home so much.  Sometimes I felt like I liked her more than I liked JC. 

In reality, it sounded more harsh than it actually was.  We, JC and I, had a lot of fun together, he made sure of it and he never did anything without asking me if I was okay with it.  That's the reason why we still hadn't kissed after all of this time.  Luckily for me he didn't seem to be too much in a rush for that to happen, or anything further for that matter.  Credit had to be given to him. 

The more days that passed the more I thought about him.  A guy that hurt me too much to even say his name anymore.  What used to feel so freeing, leaving London, now felt like my biggest mistake.  California still felt paradise, but it was nothing without my best mates by my side.  As much as I didn't want to regret coming here, now that everything was sorted out between me and all of my friends, I felt stuck all over again.

My entire body jumped with a start, covered in sweat even though the AC was still going.  The dream I had didn't even feel like a dream, it was literally me and Simon laying next to each other on the pitch, one of his favorite places.  It didn't surprise me that my subconscious lead me there.  This was where he was at his finest, doing something he loved and was so good at.  I might have been rubbish at football but I could watch him play for hours.

Expect now I couldn't.

It only took me a minute to realize what had woken me up, which was my phone.  I nearly groaned when I saw JC's contact.  Tempting as it was to not answer, I did and put the phone to my ear.  "Hello?"  Maybe if I sounded tired enough he would allow me to go back to sleep and fall into another dream of my old love.

"You're still sleeping?  It's like after noon?"

That didn't mean anything to me.  I was awake playing video games until the early morning.  In fact, the reality that I was awake right now should be a sin.  "Is that what you called me to say?"

"No, Meredith is here for the weekend and wanted all of us to go to the beach.  I figured you could invite Gabbie, and Tana, whoever else you have in mind."

There was never a time that I said no to the beach, I've become addicted to the warm sand and cold ocean.  If there was a place that made me feel as happy as I did in London, it was the beach.  Having people come up to me wanting pictures and to talk to me made it all the more better.  "Sure, what time do we plan on going?"

"I can pick you up in about an hour."

"I can pick you up in about an hour."

"Sounds good."  So much for going back to sleep.  I think the thing I missed most about being with my best mates was having people on the same wave length with me.  Now I barely got any sleep because I stayed up until the sun rose and a few hours later someone was calling me up to do something.