Dedicated to sociaIcxsuaIty
He had to choose now to say this, basically two days prior to me leaving?
We both get out and walk inside. He shuts the door behind us.
"You don't get it Ryder." I mumble.
"No, I really don't get it! He doesn't deserve you! You deserve someone better!" He snaps at me, as if trying to imprint it in my head.
"I can't leave him." I say, shrugging and shaking my head.
"Leave him! please! You know how I feel about you! Come with me instead!" He pleads me, and it breaks my heart over the fact that if I was normal, I could just say yes. It kills me how much I want to say yes.
"I can't." I whisper.
"Yes, yes you can! You can pick up a phone and tell him you,re done." He says, handing a phone out to me. I sigh.
"It doesn't work like that with him." I say. I'm so close to snapping.
"It works that way with everyone!" He says, his eyes in bewilderment as if I'm insane.
"DOES IT WORK THAT WAY WITH GANG LEADERS THAN?!" I screech.
I can't help when the next words fly from my mouth, out of my own control. I was too close to telling him anyways.
"Does it work that way when he saves your life and you now owe a debt?! Does it work that way when he forces you to be a slutty bad ass bitch?! Does it work that way when he says your not allowed to stay in your home and be you and be the you you don't want to be because you're the one he's dead set on keeping? Is it?" I yell at him. He's frozen. What I just said post back through my head, and I stumble back, placing a hand over my mouth.
"What." He demands. "He... W-ah. What?!" He yells, worry seeping in his tone. "Tell the police Kehlani! You can get yourself out of this! If he escapes or something.. I don't know.. We can run away!" he says quickly. We. Just like that my anger is gone. He knows how to care, to be loving. He's always be my greatest weakness. I hate that he got me to love him.
Rain starts to pour outside.
"I don't want to talk about this right now." I tell him, shaking my head. "I'm sorry Ryder, he wants me to leave in two days. Please, stop, let's just talk about something else for now.. We can talk later." I offer.
"Then what do you want to talk about? The weather?" he asks sarcastically. An idea pops into my head.
"No. I want to be outside, in the weather. Wait here." I tell him. His face grows confused. I can see through to know he's still thinking over my words, but lets me be. When I don't want to talk about something, I don't want to talk about it, and he knows that.
He knows me better than most people, a reason why I probably fell so hard for him the way I did. I run upstairs and grab the water proof Bluetooth speaker Ayla had gotten me a long time ago.
I press a kiss to it, as if thanking, and walk downstairs while hooking my phone up to it. I hear the noise go off and I walk back to the doorway where Ryder waits. I usher him outside with me, and place my phone and speaker on the porch. I scroll through my music until I find the song. I press play, and walk out into the rain, and he follows without a word.
"Dance with me, Ryder." I say, looking him in the eye. He nods, one hand going to my waist, the other to hold my hand in the air. He pulls me closer to him, and I rest my head on his shoulder.
Hot dives into frozen waves where the past comes back to life.. Clarity, by Zedd starts. His hand grips mine tighter, and I know what he's thinking. This song is already relating.
Fight fear for the selfish pain, it was worth it every time. This time it was me gripping his hand tighter. Hold still right before we crash, cause we both know how this ends.. I hear him mumble the word 'no.' A clock ticks till it breaks your glass and I drown on you again. The words of this song relate to me when it comes to Ryder Flynn, the loving, carefully put all American boy who had captured my heart.
Cause you are the piece of me, I wish I didn't need. Me. Chasing relentlessly, still fight and I don't know why. His hand grips mine tighter, turning my hand white with the pressure. He's thinking that's him. If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? I tighten my hold on his waist which my arm in looped in as we dance silently, moving back and forth, side to side, the first dance I've done in a long time that doesn't involve grinding. It feels nice. The chorus continues, until the second part.
Walk on through a red parade and refuse to make amends.It cuts deep through our ground and makes us forget all common sense. Don't speak as I try to leave cause we both know what we'll choose. It continues. At this, his grip on my waist pulls me so close to him, I feel every plane of muscle. I'm already at the point of crying. Tears mixing with the rain. If you pull then I'll push too deep and I'll fall right back to you. His grip on my hand moves down my arm to my waist, and my hand go up to his neck, wrapping around and we looked into each other's eyes, just staring. The chorus starts again.
Why are you my clarity? it finishes. The music stops, and we stop dancing, just stare each other in the eye, our breathing the only sound. The rain slows to a drizzle. A patch of cloud breaks and light beams through, and at that moment, I know it.
I'll never forget Ryder Flynn.
Ryder Flynn will be the only one on my mind the rest of my life.
I'll only ever be in love with him.
Because..
He's Ryder Flynn.
Our eyes meet.
And that's the moment our lips are together, our grips bringing us as close as possible. Our faces are both bent to the side, for better access. I'm lifted from the ground, spun in a circle as I pull myself closer to him. The fireworks explode inside of me.
It's as if I've never been alive until this moment, and even though I can hardly breathe with him taking my breath, my airway had never been more clear. I can finally breathe.
^^I've always loved that line a lot.
He's walking, and I don't realize it, because my legs are around his waist, my lips on his, staying there. I hear the door shut behind us and I'm slammed against it as he kisses me with such a hunger. Our lips break apart, making me want more. I take in large breaths of air, and his lips travel to my neck, kissing my soft spot, which earns a quiet moan to escape my lips, only to be smothered by his lips again. When he breaks for more breaths, I take it to fill the silence.
"Yes." I whisper. His lips, which are at my neck again, stop.
"Yes what?" He asks, leaning back slightly, causing me to just push myself more closer to him, earning a groan.
"I'll run away with you." I whisper again, looking him in the eyes. Our lips crash together again, and he's walking, yet again. I don't finish how he managed to open the door of his room with me on him, his hands on my thighs, but he did. We're a dripping mess but it couldn't be more perfect. He shuts the door, and puts me against it again, using one hand to lock it. I giggle. I take my hands and fumble, but manage to take his shirt off, revealing the delicious six-pack. And you know what the best part is?
It goes all night.
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Love to everyone that stuck by with this book all that time.
XoXo
-Elisia
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The Good Girl's Return
Teen FictionKehlani Stevenson's mother's mind snapped two years ago when the divorce happened. Her mom's divorce from her dad sent her mom insane, so when Kehlani was sent away to stay with her mom by force, her mom made everything terrible. And turned her bad...
