Rain On Me

Part 28 ~ In Too Deep

~ Megan's point of view ~

I'm at my parents' house. it's been two days since I saw Michael. We haven't spoken on the phone, nor did we communicate through emails . . . . a lot happened in just two days . . let me just say that I had my evaluation and I lied my ass through the whole thing.

I can't call myself a licensed psychologist anymore. . . the things I did with Michael are fatal . . they could ruin my whole career but let's face it . . . I'm in too deep. . . there is no turning back now.

My parents' know the whole thing.

I don't know if telling them was the right thing to do but I had to get it off my chest. My parents knew I had Michael as a client but she didn't know the stuff that was going on between us . . . keeping secrets like that feels awful. Living with secrets is hard . . . but having Michael Jackson as a secret lover, I believe, is the hardest.

Speaking of Michael . . . . I can't believe the stuff that Bill threw at me. I get thew whole security thing, but really? . . Bill saw me . . he saw me at Michael's hotel room that one night and he didn't say a word to me . . but going to the children's hospital and Michael's rehearsal suddenly is too much? . . . I don't get this guy. I really don't.

Do I like Michael? . . Yes. Do I love him? . . possibly.

I got myself into so much shit with dating Michael . . . . I should've known that there will be people standing between us . . . trying to stop it. . . . I should've known . . . I should've known better. . . . god.

I wish my life had background music so I could understand what the hell is going on. . . . . it seems to me, love could be labeled poison, and we'd drink it anyways.

I just got a text message from Michael. . . I open it and read:

"Hey Megan . . . I miss you . . . haven't heard from you in a while. I'm sorry about Bill . . please IGNORE it . . . please."

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"Hi Michael . . . I miss you too . . . but to be honest, it's hard to ignore"

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"I know it is . . . I'm sorry that you had to listen to him but that's just how he is and how he's always been . . . . the thing with my maid just made him even more careful . . . he doesn't want anything to happen to me"

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"You think I would put a knife up to your throat?"

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"I don't think so . . . . but Bill probably does. . . I'm so sorry"

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"Michael, I know it's not your fault but how can this thing between us grow? there are far too many people between us . . . . it's not just Bill . . . I mean . . . it's probably the whole world"

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"Possibly . . . . but that won't stop me from wanting you, Megan . . . . will it stop you from wanting me?"

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"Michael . . . I'm all over the place . . . . I need to see you"

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"I need to see you too but right now is not a good time . . . I'm on my way to Rome"

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"What are you doing in Italy?"

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"It's for charity . . . . I will be gone for about two weeks . . and two little concerts . . . the tour is being postponed"