Rain On Me

Part 33 ~ A Kiss From The Past

~ Megan's point of view ~

Well, that was something. I understand that his parents pressured Michael into this date with this woman but couldn't he just have said no? I couldn't stay at Michael's and pretend it didn't bother me. Because it did. I'm aware that we're not a couple . . at least not in the traditional sense but . . I . . I don't know . . I couldn't stay. He should go on that date and it's fine.

Right?

No . . not really.

It's not right.

I'm head over heels and it's killing me. I'm in love with a man who I couldn't possibly have a relationship with . . and what am I doing? I'm in my car, driving with tears streaming down my face and for what? . . seriously. I need to get it together.

We're not a couple. 

I have no right to tell Michael anything. If he wants to go on this date, then he should. Who am I to tell him no? Right? I need something. I need vodka. I would kill for that vodka Michael had in this dressing room that I mistook for water. I would drink that shit up like it was the last drop of water on earth. 

I stop at the mall, get my vodka and curl up in bed at home.

Am I being a big baby right now? Yes.

Is this vodka going to make me feel better? No.

Am I going to drink it anway? Yes.

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It's 8:40 pm . . I wonder how Michael's date is going. Is he cooking for her? Is she cooking for him? Are there candles lit? . . is it just a friendly thing? . . is she pretty? Well, I'm about to find out if she is. I hop on google and tipe in her name . . . god dammit . . I don't know her last name. I do a search on google and it doesn't take me long to find out her last name. I type in Tatiana Thumbtzen and wait for the pictures to appear. 

Oh my goodness. She's a fucking godess. 

What am I doing with my life? seriously? i'm sitting here, filthy drunk, looking at pictures of the woman Michael is on a date with right now. . . . but in my defense . . I'm practically dating Michael Jackson, so . . who wouldn't turn into a complete fool? 

The clock is ticking and there's no call from Michael. He said he'd call . . but I'm sure he forgot. Must be a very entertaining night for him . . a beautiful hottie . . a hottie he used to have a thing with . . a hottie his parents would LOVE for him to be with . . . GOD.

I'm wasting my life, serously. I'm hoping for the impossible. There is no way Michael and I have a chance at love. His bodyguard hates my guts . . his parents wouldn't approve. I'm honestly wasting my time. 

Why did I have to catch feelings? 

Why did I have to kiss him and watch him rehears and do all the stuff you do that makes you fall in love . . why . . WHY? Why couldn't I just have stayed professional and not get invovled with him? 

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~ Michael's point of view ~

We just ate dinner and are now out on the balcony having a glass of wine. I'm glad Tatiana and I got to talk about everything that happened. She went through so much heartache and health issues after she got fired. I had no idea it was so hard on her.

She puts her hand on my shoulder. 

"You really are an incredible human being, Michael . . I am blessed to have you as a friend and . . hopefully . . we . . maybe we can see each other more often from now on and pick up where we left off . . if you feel the same way of course" She gently places her head on my shoulder as she's looking up at the night sky.