Knowing You're There

Chapter 14

Kurt walked down the hall with me after LRA on Friday.  His hand was even sweatier than mine.  There was a lot resting on this performance.  If we failed, then Kurt’s family was going to go broke. 

After I filled my backpack with books for the weekend’s load of homework, Kurt and I headed down towards the exit, him running ahead of me to grab the door as usual.  The air was still like it was about to snow. 

“Do you feel that?” I said.  “It’s going to snow any minute.” 

I went to put my arm around him, but he flinched and stepped to the side.  When I reached for his hand, he flinched again and wouldn’t take it.  I tried one final time to grab his arm, and again he stepped away.  I grit my teeth. 

“Lia, I’m sorry,” he said.  “Would it be okay if you didn’t touch me for now?” 

“Why? What the hell is your problem?” 

“I’m just—” He sat down.  I joined him on the cool grass.  “When I have a lot going on I get like, really anxious and aspbergery and I don’t like being touched for some reason.”  He sighed and kissed the top of my head.  “I’m sorry if it makes me look like a dick.” 

I turned my head away from his.  “You could’ve at least said that before you started giving me the cold shoulder.” 

“I know,” he said.  “I’m really sorry and I’ll try to work on it.” 

“Can I at least lean on your shoulder?”  I asked.

“It’s probably going to bother me, but I want you to do it anyway.” 

I inched closer and leaned my head on the shoulder of his puffy winder coat.  When he whined and tried to move away, I grabbed his hand and started stroking it with my thumb. 

“It’s okay Kurt,” I said.  “I’m right here.” 

“You know that you’re the best girlfriend ever, right?” 

I nudged him with my elbow.  “Would you stop being so mushy and romantic?” 

“Nope.  That’s never going to happen,” he said as he leaned his head against mine. 

When I was about to ask him about our plans for later, Star came closer to me and leaned her head on my lap.  I pet her back and scratched her ears.  A few minutes later, Mom rolled up and started honking the horn.  Kurt helped me get to my feet. 

“So later, where are we rehearsing?”  I asked. 

Since we wanted to run through everything one more time, we had to figure out when we would be rehearsing.  Since Mom was sick of us playing in the basement and also wanted to have “girl time” after school, Kurt was left to find a new place for us to practice.