Claimed [ManxMan/BDSM]

Chapter 12

Claimed [ManxMan/BDSM]

|Levy's POV|

"Fisting," Molly says from her seat on my sofa, "the act of inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum."

I stare at her with wide eyes as she continues to peruse the BDSM website she looked up online. Why would anyone want to stick a whole fist up there? It has to be painful. I shudder just thinking about it.

Setting the bowl of salad I made on the table, I cross my arms over my chest, "You know I didn't tell you what happened with Jacob at the club so you could go into one of your weird girl fetishes and start looking everything up. I shouldn't have even told you what happened, I broke the contract I signed, but I needed someone to talk to, so come over here and help me through this."

Molly rolls her eyes at me but puts my laptop down and walks over to where I have set out our lunch. She takes a seat and I sit across from her as she helps herself to some food. After she's settled she looks at me and asks, "Ok, so what's the problem?"

"What's the problem?" I ask, exasperated, "Have you not heard a single thing I have told you all morning?"

"All I know is that your boss has the hots for you and considering he's hot I don't see the problem here. As for the contract, you said Jacob made you sign the contract so that you wouldn't talk about the people at the club, not the club itself. Seeing as you won't tell me who you saw in the club you haven't technically broken anything."

Reaching for the lasagna and spatula on the table I glower at her, "I'll give you the contract thing but in regard to my boss, how can you not see the problem?"

"I think you're being a little over dramatic, it's not a big deal."

Opening and closing my mouth like a fish out of water I manage to sputter, "N-not, not a big deal? How about the fact that my boss wants to tie me up and cause me pain? How about the fact that the only reason he wants me is that he thinks I'm defenseless and he can control me? How's that for not a big deal?"

Molly sets her fork, with the bite she was about to take, down on her plate and gives me a sympathetic look. I avert my eyes. I don't need her feeling sorry for me. I'm not a hopeless victim that men can walk all over anymore. I won't allow myself to be that for anyone. No matter how attracted I am to him.

"Levy," Molly begins, reaching out to take my hand across the table, "the type of lifestyle Jacob lives does not mean he will control you all the time or that you won't have a say, or that he will cause you pain just to be harmful. It's a give-and-take relationship from what I've read online."

I shake my head. Her words echo Jacob's from the club about the relationship of a Dom and his Sub being about trust but I can't let myself believe that. If I do I know I'll get hurt again. All men who want to control their partners are the same, they just want to have complete dominance over them at whatever the cost.

"You need to stop letting what Shane did control your life. You need to stop giving him that control. And you need to stop avoiding the problem by not going to work. Tomorrow's Friday, it's been almost a week since you went to the club and you haven't been to work since. You're lucky Jacob is giving you time to get adjusted to what you saw. You need to trust that he's not the same as Shane."

Picking at my food, I contemplate what she's said. I know I still let what happened with Shane control a part of my life. It's not that I willingly let it, I just can't stop myself from unconsciously letting what happened influence my decisions. Still, my situation with Jacob isn't being influenced by Shane.

At least not much.

Yes, knowing the pain that a man can cause me has made me wary of being with a dominant man but being with Jacob comes with an assurance of pain.