Faded (A Harry Styles Fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty

"Harry?" I asked, softly knocking on his door. 

"It's open," his voice replied behind the door, as stern and cold as my tone was earlier.

After a lot of thinking, I had decided to finally confront him instead of whallowing in my self pity. The last thing I want to do is hurt him though. 

"Harry," I quietly began as I walked over to the bed and sat next to him. "look, I know you probably think I'm some heartless bitch but I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Okay."

"Okay? That's really all you have to say?" I clenched my fists so he wouldn't see the anger building inside me, but the rapid foot-tapping might have given it away.

"Well, what do you want me to say? I forgive you? I don't even know how to explain what I'm feeling right now. Are you even capable of love? We've spent the last few weeks almost insperable and not to mention, I trusted you, but god, you're so fucking selfish." He groaned then put his head in his hands.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Just because you trusted me doesn't mean I trusted you, because right now, you've lost all my trust." I spat and took a breath. "And at least I'm not pretending to love you, I'd rather not pity love someone-- I'd rather actually love someone." I could tell the words stung, but no one said the truth doesn't hurt. "Well you know what, whatever. I'm just- done. I can't do this anymore. I can't play house with you anymore, playing the happy girlfriend role, I just can't." 

His eyes searched around the room before they met mine, but it was too late. I grabbed my purse then turned around and left him alone in his room. I slipped my sneakers on and a coat. I walked over to the kitchen and looked for something to write a note with. I took the dry erase board off the fridge and set it on the counter before writing, 

Thanks so much for having me, it really does mean a lot. All the gifts are still in the room so you can take them back, I'm sorry for the trouble. -F

By the time I signed off I could feel my eyes glossing over. Don't cry, don't you fucking cry. You're not weak, you have to be strong. I slammed the door as I left and put my hood up, then walked along the sidewalk. I was so thankful no one was home other than Harry and I, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to just leave without a word being said. Harry has all my clothes and other personal items, so until I can somehow find a way back to campus, I'm screwed. Merry-fucking-Christmas.

I walked towards the local store I knew was only a few blocks away and immediately let the warm take over my senses. I checked my purse to see if I had any money in my wallet, and I was overjoyed when I spotted a twenty and a five dollar bill. I had about three dollars in change, so I was sitll nowhere near where I needed to be to get back. I bought a Gatorade and a bag of chips then walked outside to the parking lot, kicking the small pebbles in my way.

I made it this far, that's something to be proud of right? I made it where I wanted to be so that's all that matters- so everything that happens after this doesn't count. At some point in my life, I was at least halfway happy with myself so I can give up now. I smiled then looked around the parking lot at all the bikes and empty cars.

I jogged over to an empty car and scanned the parking lot to make sure no one was around before I took my fist and covered it with my sleeve and grabbed hold of a rock near the light post by the car. With all my might, I took my hand and smashed the rock through the window. A wicked smile formed on my face when the glass smashed under the rock's force. I quickly slid my hand through the window and unlocked the door before hopping in and turning my attention to the wires under the wheel. 

A/N

Sorry for the super short update, but this fic is literally so close to being finished and the next chapter I wanted to be all in Harry's POV :D Thank you all so much for reading and I've already started with an idea for my next fic so I hope you all stick around! :D