Supernovas & Escapism

Chapter Twenty-Eight

      I can't exactly remember when I'd drifted off. Maybe it was just after hearing the words that I needed to hear from Xavier, or maybe it was hours later.

     Whichever it had been, when I finally did awake the next morning, I did so with the casualness of someone who was so used to this. But of course, this was not something I was used too. The very truth of the matter is that I was still a stranger in this home.

     Sleep was such a welcome thing though. With all the mess and anarchy that had flown through my life these past couple of months, it felt like such a reprieve was needed. There was no worry about needing to bolt out the window, nor was there ever any worry about becoming a moving target. Honestly, it was just nice to wake up and not feel like you had to watch your back.

     Eyelids still heavy, a groan escaped me as the piercing light of the morning sun cracked through the curtains. I rolled my body closer to Xavier's bed, instantly regretting my decision. My lungs filled themselves with an all too familiar pained fire. Thoughts were swimming rampant in my head, as my bruised body registered its own alertness with every movement.

     Last night was weird. It started out in the worst possible place. Like the bar could not have been any lower. And over the course of a single night, hope sprang.

     Maybe it made me a bad person to pine for something that might not even happen. Clearly Xavier was still on the hook with his girlfriend, and even if he wasn't, who was I to say who he would wind up with next. As much as I pray for something to happen, I'm not willing to do it in spite of his own happiness.

     "Mornin'," I manage, my one good eye limping itself back into the land of the living.

     As soon as everything adjusted itself again, I could make out clearly that I'd just said something to no one in particular. The sheets which had adorned his bed just hours prior seemed now to be casually dismissed at the foot of his bed in an organized chaos. The impression of him was still left in his pillow, but it became clear that he had left the room some time ago.

     A lazy, sort of wistful, sigh escaped my lips as I turned onto my back, wincing through the pain of it in the moment.

     It dawned on me very quickly how stuck I was, not that that was necessarily a bad thing. From the pictures we crossed on the way to his room, I knew that Xavier had a father still in the picture, as well as two sisters. No mother, but I already kind of knew that. Regardless, no one except Xavier knew I was even here at this point in time. To just come out of his room would have been a ballsy statement if people knew who I was, but something about me being an almost stranger made it worse.

     Until Xavier came back, I couldn't make a move. Even when he did, the only two options would be to awkwardly meet his family, or to climb out a second-story window. Neither of those options felt like they were particularly appealing.

     My body forced itself upright, the muscles holding me there reminding me once again how painful my movements were making things. With shaky hands, I swept back through my hair, before eyeing the door intently, as if just the mere presence of my gaze was enough to make Xavier show up in a wisp of smoke.