Supernovas & Escapism

Chapter Forty-Four

      "What are you doing here?" I ask before the door has even had a chance to close. When it finally does settle with a small click, I approach him with more caution and reservation than needed. Once again, my words sound accusatory and I can't help but think that maybe if I just shut up and stop reacting, then words might flow out of my head more sensitively.

     Garth, still carried by the same momentum that had pulled him into the room, crashes neatly onto the bed. Feet planted steady, he looks up at me with pleading eyes.

     "I needed to see you," he says, his words feeling like he is walking on hot coals. There's a break that happens within his tone, but I pretend not to hear it. "I needed to see you when the moon wasn't something we needed to think about."

     "Why?"

     Garth simply shrugs his shoulders. There's an infinite of thoughts swimming behind those eyes, and I just wish he would pull one from the surface and tell me what he's thinking.

     Is he scared about running? Is he having second thoughts about me as a person? Have I put too much pressure on him to make a decision this life-altering?

     Whatever it is, I just wish he could tell me.

     The floor utters a groan as I cross the room to sit on the bed next to him. Neither of us utter a word for a moment, instead letting the sound of our breaths fill the air. His are naturally calm and stoic, if not a little quick with the exhale. It feels like he's putting on a show, trying to show the world that he's fine when the truth is that he's the farthest thing from fine. But he doesn't need to put on a show for me—I'd accept him even in his darkest moments, if only he could do me the privilege of opening up.

     Every time it feels like I'm getting somewhere with him, he pulls back. I get that he doesn't trust people, and that it's his natural predisposition to think that everyone is out to get him. But if he can't trust me, then who can he trust.

     "God, I hope Glory didn't break out the baby pictures," I say with absolute sincerity, just trying to break the ice again.

     And just like that, Garth can't even help himself. He bursts into a tight laughter that nearly sends him doubling over, but not quite. His eyes turn to face mines and for a moment I can feel everything melt off of him. It's that extreme baggage that he's been dealing with. Sooner or later he'll have to pick it up again, but for now he's let it rest at the foot of my bed.

     "She wouldn't do that," Garth answers confidently. "Would she?"

     "She would," I reply, wincing slightly. "The first time I brought Sabrina home, she did her the honor of rolling through every single one of my baby pictures, probably just to get a rise out of me."

     "That's evil."

     "No, that's not evil, that's just Glory."

     A nod crosses him for a moment. "She seems nice."

     "Yeah, she is," I reply back with a half-smile.

     Another moment passes. "Why did you need to see me right now?" I ask. "Is there something wrong?"

     Again, Garth shrugs. "No there's nothing wrong."

     My face grows hot as I frown at him slightly. "Then what is it? I know you didn't come here just to see me. We could have waited till night-time."

     "You remember that day when you tried to drive me home and I said no?" he replied back to me, low and serious. "That day I told you to leave me alone?"