Life Lift-er Upper

Trust is an issue..

Trust is a hard concept for a lot of people, many dont who or what to trust.

Believe me, I have the same problems, Lately ive realized that people I have trusted in the past left me, my bestfriends broke away and just suddenly stopped talking to me and all the sudden i was scared of who i trust now.

What if they break me?

What if they leave me?

I dont like the pain that brings, when someone leaves me, when someone breaks my trust, it makes me feel worthless, not worth their time or attention. I dont understand why they up and left, never looking back. I look pack on pictures and messages and miss all the fun memories we had.

It seems like they didnt care though, Laughing and such with their new "better" friends, its not fair, i was here first.

So i became guarded, I stopped talking to people, I stopped hanging out, I stopped texting them first, I made excuses for not hanging out over the weekend and I found myself locked up in my room.

I stopped trusting my family even, whenever we went places i didnt talk to anybody, I wasnt my fun bouncy self anymore. 

But then like magic always work, i came to the realization...

I trusted and I lost, yes?

I am scared now.

Im scared for the future, for those who arent 'the bestest of all bestfriends", i know i will lose contact with them, but i love them in a odd way and i dont want to lose them later in life.

After high school i dont want to look back at those ive quit talking to, or those i didnt even try to keep in contact with.

I was scared for that day, but now im not so much.

If i make memories, good ones and quit with drama and guarding myself life wil be better.

If I stay guardered and unsocialable then I wont have anything to look back on.

I need to make good memories, I need to laugh and have fun. Because in 10 or 20 years I want to look back and be like "yeah, i hated school but I had fun with my friends" and then they'll ask where those people are now.

and ill tell them that I dont know, but maybe I can look for them?

The world isnt as big as you think it is, we have the wonderful magical thing called the internet, and we can look somebody up and maybe just maybe i can communicate with them again.

So step out of your cage and make friends.

But first, you must trust yourself first. Trust that you will make the right choices. Trust you will do what is right for you.

and secondly saying "I trust you" is better than saying "I love you" Because trusting takes so much more than just a heart, it takes your faith and sense of good to trust someone. Loving someone is easy, I love channing tatum because well hes sexy...but I dont trust him because well I dont know him and he's never proven to ME that he was trustworthy to ME.

You have to trust and believe in someone in order to enjoy your time with them, only spend time with people who make your life better in the clouds then those who drag you through the nasty mud and dirt.

On that note, love those you trust but dont always trust those you love.

I love you, every single one of you, even though I do not know you. But I dont trust you because i do not know you and you have not proved yourself to me.

Trust is earned not given.

-Love, MrsKent.