Letters From Laura

Epilogue

Dear Mum,

I haven't written in ages to you for obvious reasons. But I haven't been writing in my journal either.

My therapist, Dr. Kwon, thought that I was relying too heavily on writing and said it wasn't healthy. I agreed to take a break from it and I admit it has helped.

I am breaking the rules today, however, to write you one last letter. It is my first day at Benningtons Academy tomorrow and Claire and Dad have just dropped off Victoria and I.

Victoria is in another dormitory because the school separates us by age, but I will see her often, and I am glad. It is the first year here for both of us.

I've had time to talk to Dad about my feelings and while it was bloody awkward at first, I do feel better about our relationship now. It's times like these where I feel sad that I will never be able to reconcile face to face with you.

But that is why I'm writing this letter, seemingly out of the blue.

I've been holding onto anger about your lies. Which is somewhat silly, I suppose because I didn't find out about everything until after you died.

My whole life I idolized you so when I found out about all of your lies, I was hurt.

I forgive you, now.

I forgive you for lying to me.

I know you thought you were doing the best for me.

Perhaps if I had never found out, it would have been.

And I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I made you leave the house that day for a stupid errand.

I'm sorry that you will never get to see me grow up and get married.

I'm sorry you will never get the chance to be a grandmother.

I'm sorry I will never be able to smell your strawberry scented shampoo and eat your walnut brownies again.

But mainly I'm sorry that memories of us have already begun to fade and be replaced by new ones with Claire and Victoria and Dad.

But please know, I will never forget you entirely.

I see you when I look into the mirror everyday, and when I brush my hair with your old brush.

I see you in my dreams which are becoming less scary and more nostalgic.

Perhaps one day I will see you in the face of my own daughter.

I may never be 100 percent normal again but I'm so much better than I was before. I have Dr. Kwon, and Victoria and even dad and Claire.

And I know I have you looking down on me from above.

I'm going to do you proud, Mum.

With her chin up,

Your daughter,

Laura xoxo