Take Your Time

Chapter 21

Caitlin POV

I am so exhausted. At night I can barely sleep. I thought that finally coming clean to my family about how I feel about Peyton would calm my mind down but it hasn't. It probably has to do with the fact I am still ignoring them.

To top it off McKenna is ignoring me as well. After Logan and her left Peyton's house, I haven't heard from her. I tried texting her on Sunday, but she never responded to me. I know it's not that she hasn't seen them. McKenna always has her phone in her hand, so I know she is ignoring me.

Tomorrow we leave for the Final Four. We will check in our hotel tomorrow and get one practice in before our first game on Wednesday. Our school has never made it to the Final Four in soccer so I should be ecstatic right now right? Nope. This has also been the cause of my exhaustion.

Why? Peyton. Peyton is two for two so far in her high school career in state championship games. She is going for her third straight. Peyton hasn't brought it up, but the pressure to win is there. All I want to do is make her happy and I know how important soccer is to her. What if I'm not good enough and I'm the reason we lose?

If we make it to the Championship, most likely it will be against Peyton's old school. I know it's more than a championship in their eyes. It's their opportunity to say they can win without Peyton who is the Washington Player of the Year.

In reality, the only way we will lose is if they score more than us, so it will be my fault. What if it makes Peyton not want to talk to me? Why do I think like this?

"Caitlin." A slight push to my shoulder snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you okay?"

I blink a couple of times and scan my surroundings. I am in a car. I look to my left. I am in a car with Logan. When did I get in the car?

"Do you need to see the school's nurse?"

"No." I unbuckle and grab my bag on the floor. "I was zoned out, not ill."

As I go to open the door the sound of the locks go off. "Caitlin, wait." Logan grabs my arm.

I look back at him and shake my arm free. "What? I'm fine. I promise."

"This isn't about your health." He looks at me seriously which scares me a bit. "You need to stop ignoring our moms. They are one of the few people who can understand what you are going through."

He is right, but it's hard to listen to someone who walked out on you. "Logan I don't need this from you." I hit the unlock button. "I'll talk to them on my own terms."

I got out of the car thinking I was done dealing with my brother for the day. Unfortunately Logan has other plans as he meets strides with me. "What the hell is your problem Caitlin?"

I stop on a dime. "What do you mean what's my problem? You are the one who walked out the other night Logan. I don't trust you anymore. Not to mention you showed up to Peyton's house out of the blue with McKenna and now she won't even talk to me."

Logan's eyes scan the people whose attention we have gained. "Could you keep your voice down? This is none of their business."

Shouldn't I be bitching at him for that? "You made it their business when you decided to follow me. Let me guess, you don't want them to know I..."

Logan puts his hand over my mouth. "Do not say it." He looks me dead in the eyes. "It's none of their damn business."

I am not sure if it's the look in his eyes or the tightness of his hand cupped around my mouth that scares me. I use both of my hands and shove him away. "Stay the hell away from me Logan."