Gangsta//Joker

Im barely breathing

Slipping on a tshirt over my bra my knuckles lightly brush over the stitches but i ignore it squeezing my eyes shut tight and step into my short-shorts i heard banging at my door and frowned. Who the hell was here this late? Joker doesnt knock im not sure how he gets in but its definately not the front door. Walking towards it i swing it open only for joker to crash into my arms. Quickly shutting the door i notice his body is damp and his hair is sticking to his forehead.

"J what the hell happened to you?" I ask scared watching as he claws at his throat and clutches at his stomach. His eyes are blood shot red and hes twitching like a drug addict. He mumbles something before pushing me out the way storming to the bathroom and slamming it shut. I can slightly here him emptying the contents of his stomach and cringe. A few minutes later i hear the shower running and assume he's ok. I havent heard any thuds so he hasnt fallen over and passed out.

Right as im dozing off i feel a pressure on my lower stomach and look down to see its joker. I smile slightly at his childish ways and knowing he found comfort in me. He trusted me. Running my fingers through his hair he freezes and i realize he probably thought i was sleep. He slowly begins to relax and i smile wider when i realize hes showing his vulnerable side to me. I didnt even know he had one. "Talk to me j, whats bothering you" i say softly but he ignores me and lift his hand toward the lower right side of my stomach i freeze and grab his hand.

"Tell me what happened right there" he rasp out but i cant open my mouth. "Ashton i...trust you im being good you have to tell me what happened right here" he says seriously and i feel my eyes watering up and go to wipe them before he can see.

"I cant...i dont know what happened its a blurry memory. I have this ugly ass scar j, stitches and everything i cant even remember how i fucking got it" i finally crack and he looks up at me. "I have this ugly mark on my body and its never going to go away and it probably sounds vein...im a fucked up person with a messy and damaging past but when people look at my body and cant find a flaw it makes me feel better it makes me feel less damaged" i break down in tears and he sighs changing our position so that hes laying stretched on his back and im on his chest.

"Were all fucked up crying about it doesnt change a thing neither does a perfect body or face" he says gently pulling at my hair and i sniffle. As rude as that was he was right. "They drugged me up, every depresant suppresant and other stupid drug they could find. I still feel sluggish because they electrocuted me t-" i cut him off with a gasp.

"They still do electro-therapy? Wait they cant do that! They cant drug my patient without my consent!" I gasp wiping my tears and looking up at joker. "You ok? You hungry thirsty want any medication- no dont answer that last one." I ramble but he shakes his head and i yawn.

"Ill fix it j, i promise. Im glad you trust me" i say laying my head on his chest pulling the cover from the back of the couch onto us. I hear him mumble he cant wait but the way he says it i know hes not talking about tomorrow.

Opening my eyes i glance around confused when i hear mumbling. The cable box reads 8:00 and i was going to be late! Wait...This was not my bedroom! Looking up i see the joker with his arm behind his head and mumbling something. Leaning up to hear him nothing makes sense.

She doesnt remember, jack.

Take your time.

Leave her.

She needs you and you need her.

You love her but she doesnt love you.

Shut up.

Im nuts baby im mad the craziest friend shes ever had.

"What the hell are you doing?"