The Lost Asgardian (Loki)

Loving a Dark Soul

"How to Save a Life" by The Fray
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As it turned out, Sigyn could not bring herself to run to Loki and confront him about what she had heard. Terrified of the possibility that her suspicions about Loki's involvement in his brother's death might be true, she instead fled to her chambers on the other side of the castle, not stopping for anyone or anything that crossed her path. In her heart, Sigyn knew that her beloved was behind the murder of her fiancé, even if she couldn't bear to acknowledge it aloud. Sweet, generous, thoughtful Balder was now gone. Whether or not he could be brought back to life would be up to the council of Olympus. With King Odin and Lord Zeus at odds, Sigyn feared that Balder's death might be permanent. As she stared out her window, one hour easily turned into two, and two turned into more, lost in a whirlwind of grief, confusion, and fear.
"I heard you were awake."

As Sigyn stared out her bedroom window, she could not find comfort hearing Loki's voice. Hearing him brought her no joy, only sorrow. Her heart was broken thinking of his unspeakable crime...

"Or, you knew your potion would wear off by now," Sigyn said evenly, her tears having dried after six hours of crying. She wept for Balder, his wife, his family, and she even wept for Loki's soul if he was truly capable of killing his brother.
"You already know twas I who spiked your goblet?"
"How could you?" Sigyn whispered, turning to face him. She found no joy or comfort upon seeing Loki. She stared deeply into his blue eyes, wishing more than anything none of this was happening.

"I did not think you would be bothered missing out on your engagement kiss," Loki exclaimed quietly, gently rolling his shoulders as he watched her.
"Do not play stupid with me!" Sigyn hissed as she grasped her temples tightly. "HOW do you makeshift your own brothers demise?! How?? How c-could you..." she covered her mouth to halt her sob.
"You think I killed Balder??" Loki asked incredulously. "Have you not heard? Twas Hoder! The blind moron murdered him as he attempted to shoot a flaming arrow! Twas rather saddening that the arrow just happened to be made from mistletoe."

Sigyn backed away the moment Loki tried to advance. He clearly wanted to hold her, but she could have none of that. Thor was not the fool many pegged him as; he was far more intelligent than many credited him for. Even though no one seemed to suspect Loki of Balder's death, Thor's reasoning made the most sense. Fresh tears gathered behind Sigyn's eyes as she dodged Loki's advances.

"What kind of fool do you take me for!?" she hissed vehemently. "I know you! Have y-you yet to g-grasp that concept?! I know you b-better than you may even know yourself..." Sigyn broke down. She fell to her knees and started to sob. Loki easily teleported to be beside her. He scooped her into his arms to hold as he pressed soft kisses into her hair. "Till' death do us part," she whispered, tears streaming down her face. "How c-c-could you d-do such a thing to someone you grew up with since b-boyhood?"

She had always been busy with chores, but even she knew growing up the sons of Odin were all close. They were bonded by the desire to be the strongest, bravest warriors. They skipped stones and hunted. They all played together, trained together, and fought together...It seemed unspeakable that the sweet Balder could truly be dead by Loki's hand. Loki, who in Sigyn's mind and heart was such a caring soul he could never harm someone...
"My love, I did not kill Balder..." Loki trailed off, holding her close. "Please, please look at me! I did not kill him!"

Loki's grip tightened around her, his touch colder than ever. Sigyn felt trapped, suffocated by the weight of his embrace. "You possess a silver tongue," she cried, trying and failing to move from his cold grasp. She couldn't even look at him. Loki maneuvered their bodies so that he was sitting on the ground and she was between his legs, her back pressed against his torso as he held her.

"You killed him, for now this means I can no longer be forced into an arranged marriage," she whispered in horror, the realization sinking in like a heavy stone in her chest. The implications of Balder's death reverberated through her, a chilling reminder of the darkness lurking within Loki's heart.
"Hoder killed Balder by accident! I could not do such a thing to my own brother..."
"Which you did not," Sigyn sniffled. "Y-you tricked Hoder."

"Myself trick Hoder? Darling, be reasonable," he implored, his tone coaxing yet firm. "Hoder is as stubborn as a common mule. There is no forcing or tricking him into anything against his will! You and I both know he has ALWAYS hated that he is at a blind disadvantage compared to everyone else! How many times has he attempted to horseback, swim, make love, and even throw axes while as blind as a wounded beast?"

Sigyn could not find the words to respond. Loki's argument resonated with a bitter truth she couldn't ignore. Hoder's relentless pursuit of equality, despite his physical limitations, was a testament to his character.

As she cried harder, Loki pulled her in close, his embrace both comforting and suffocating. His words, like honeyed poison, soothed her wounded heart even as they stirred doubt within her.
"You p-poisoned m-my goblet."
"I did so you would not have to kiss Balder at the end of the night while he read forth your engagement rites of passage, you know this." He placed a cool and collected kiss against her jaw. Sigyn rested her head against his chest, finally allowing him to hold her close.
"You h-hated him," she mumbled stupidly.
"Not enough to kill him." Loki shifted his body to hold her tighter against him.

Sigyn's chin wobbled. This felt so wrong. Even though she was unmarried at the time of his death, she was technically Balder's widow. She was in the arms of the man she felt could have killed him. "Say it to me," she whispered as she wiggled out of his grasp to turn around. She got onto her knees to balance her hands on Loki's strong shoulders. "Look m-me in the eyes and t-tell me you did not kill Balder."
Staring deeply into her eyes caused Sigyn to count the multiple lovely flecks of blue in his eyes. She held onto his gaze, not even daring to blink. "I did not kill Balder; I could never do such a thing to my brother."

Sigyn's heart sank as Loki's words echoed in the chamber of her mind. She wanted desperately to believe him, to cling to the illusion that he was innocent in all of this. But as she searched his eyes for any hint of deception, she found herself confronted with a void, a darkness that whispered of truths left unsaid.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you did not plan Balder's death," she implored, her voice trembling with the weight of her own doubt.
Loki's response was swift, unwavering. "I did not plan Balder's death."

Yet,in that fleeting moment of vulnerability, Sigyn saw a shift in his demeanor, ashadow that danced across his features and vanished as quickly as it hadappeared. As he pulled her close, offering solace in the shelter of hisembrace, Sigyn felt a chill creep into her soul. For deep within her being, sheknew that in that single, elusive heartbeat, this was the first true lie Lokihad ever told her.
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