Hopeless. // FWxNS

chapter six

"And I'm broken and bleeding, and begging for help."

Finn

-

I'm stuck. I'm stuck in a box I like to call life.

I'm pounding, pounding on the walls, but nobody can hear me.

I'm dwindling down to nothing, but nobody can see me.

I'm whispering for someone to help, but I'm not sure that anyone can help me out of this. I'm confused. I'm confused, because I'm not alone, but I feel so alone. I feel like I'm by myself, but there's somebody there.

I yell for them. Help me. Help me, I try to tell them, but nothing comes out. Nothing happens, and they cannot hear my struggling. I feel a clammy hand touch my forehead, but I cannot see who the hand belongs to.

Why am I here? Why am I seemingly being compressed into nothing? Who is doing this to me?

I put my hands and feet against the walls of the box, and I push, but they won't budge. I can hear someone. My parents. Nick. I can hear them yelling at me, I can hear them saying that I worthless and disgusting. Make it stop, somebody make it stop. I try to call out to them, I try to apologize to them, but nothing happens. I can't see anything, I can't say anything.

Another person, but I cannot seem to recognize the voice of this person. They're saying something, but I don't know what they're trying to tell me. I feel trapped, but I also feel tired. I'm exhausted. I don't know how long I've been in here, but I want out.

I can feel sweat starting to bead up on my forehead. It is hot in here. My body is aching, and I just want out. I push again, but I can see to get out. I feel something grab my hand, I can feel it. I'm alone, but there is somebody there. I try to call out to them, but I can't. No words come out of my mouth. I'm scared. I don't know where I am, and I'm scared.

"Finn," The words softly ring throughout the box. Where is that coming from? I try to look around, but I can't see anything. I don't recognize the voice at first, and I don't know where it is coming from.

"Finn, wake up," The voice whispers. I can feel something squeeze my hand, and I'm in Noah's bed. I sit up quickly, looking around. My hair is damp with sweat, and the cool breeze coming from the ceiling fan is causing the sweat to dry against my forehead.

I exhale, and I look down next to me, seeing a worried, scared little Noah.

I feel tears streaming down my cheeks as Noah pulls me into his embrace.

"It's okay, Finn," He says softly, stroking my hair a bit, "It was just a dream."

Just a dream, Finn, just a dream.

I knew it was just a dream, but it felt so real. As if life really is crushing me to nothing. Noah is the only thing keeping me semi-sane. If I were alone, would anyone even know I existed? This is my life now. My parents think I'm nothing, and I don't exist to anyone but Noah. Noah is literally the only thing keeping me here.

That's pathetic, pathetic that nobody really cares about me, only him.

"What are you thinking about, love?" I'm brought back to this hell I'm living by that sweet little voice that I just so happen to love.

I look up at the small boy. In the darkness, he almost looks older. He looks just as run-down as I feel. I give him a weak smile, and I whisper softly, "I'm thinking about this."

I tilted my head up, pressing a gentle kiss to the boy's mouth. It was a very slow kiss, and it didn't last too long, but it definitely made everything better. Noah always seemed to make everything better.

I pulled slowly away, and rested my head on the smaller boy's chest, listening to his heart beating.

"Noah?" I said softly after a few moments of lying there with him, "Are you awake?"

"Yeah," he replied, keeping his voice low.

"What's your favorite movie?" I asked. I wanted to know more about him, but I also didn't want to go to bed yet.

We stayed up for another hour, just talking. We talked about a lot of things, random things, our past, our future, what we want in our life. I asked him questions and he answered. Soon, we just laid there, thinking about who knows what. I was thinking about him. I was thinking about my future, and I was thinking about how I want him in it. I need him in it.

I could feel his chest rise and fall steadily under my ear, and I heard the cute little snores escaping his mouth. He had fallen asleep. I smiled a little bit to myself, and carefully lifted my head from his chest, laying my cheek on the pillow so that I was facing him.

I watched him for awhile. I watched the way his lips occasionally twitch while he sleeps, and how he sleeps with his mouth open just a little bit. I thought about he had no clue that he did those things. How he would never be able to see truly how adorable he his. He would never be able to see how perfect he is through my eyes. No matter how many times I tell him that he is absolutely beautiful, he will never see what I see.

I fell asleep thinking about him, and this time, I slept through the rest of the night.

-

yikes this isn't very good ah

i feel like one day i'm going to look back on this story and not be proud

idk do you guys like it??? be truthful

hopefully my next update will be sooner rather than later, but i still don't have a true plan for this book