How to Save a Life ✓

XIV: In Which He Moves On

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

It feels as if time has frozen still as I stare at Noah with wide eyes. I would have never expected him to utter those words to me, or to anyone at all.

"My best friend jumped to her death." He repeats quietly, this time taking more time to process what he's saying.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I internally cringe at how bad that sounds. I'm not the best when it comes to making feel better. Nine times out of ten, I accidentally make them feel worse.

His shoulders slump in defeat and he suddenly looks exhausted. Noah walks over to a certain part of the bridge and I follow him uncertainly, not knowing what he's going to do.

"The coast guard's think that Sarah fell from this spot. She died on impact."

I don't know what to say as I look down at my feet. I have walked by this spot hundreds of times and I never knew that a couple feet of concrete can be so significant to someone else.

"When did Sarah die?" Too afraid to say the words killed herself, I settle on the easier version instead. The version that would hurt less.

"Last year. I just don't understand why she died. Sarah had the perfect family, amazing friends. She was popular and was smarter than Andrew and I combined. She was destined for great things in life but she ended it all. After the funeral, I kept asking myself how. How is someone's life so fucked up that they think their only option is to end it all?"

"Sometimes," I start, "you can have the perfect life but that doesn't mean you're perfect yourself. I can't guess her thoughts since I never met her but maybe she had inner demons none of you knew about. When you come from a perfect home, you think that you have to be perfect yourself. But when you realize that you can't, then you might start to think that you aren't worthy."

Continuing my previous thoughts, I add, "The funny thing is that perfect doesn't exist. That's why I hate that word. It sets unrealistic expectations that can only destroy you, not make you better."

He slowly thought about what I'm saying and in the end, he nods his head in agreement.

"Is that why you come to the Golden Gate bridge everyday? To stop people from jumping?"

Noah's answer is immediate like everything became clear to him at that moment on. "Yeah. If I couldn't stop my best friend from dying, then at least I could stop strangers from doing it too."

My mind goes back when Noah pushed me off of the railings and into the concrete floor. Although I wasn't going to jump, it might have seemed like I was going to. I can only imagine the panic that Noah must have felt, experiencing another death if he failed. It might have been a stranger but a life is a life.

Remembering that Noah mentioned Andrew before, I decide to ask him about it. "Why did you bring up Andrew?"

"Andrew was Sarah's boyfriend. We were all best friends before they started dating. Even before I met Aphrodite. He took it hard when she died. Unlike me who dealt with it in a positive way, he shut people out. Our last real conversation was the day before she jumped. All we do now is exchange glares."

Andrew's cold demeanor makes sense now. Although he has no excuse to take his anger on other people and hurt them, I understand more. Every has different ways of coping, and unfortunately, his is self-destructive.

Seeing me think, he puts his arm around my shoulder and we start to walk all the way. "There's no point in living in the past. If Andrew wants to do that, then he's just eventually going to do what Sarah did. What's done is done. I'll always love Sarah but she would've wanted me to be happy. So that's what I'm going to do."

I only nod, knowing that the conversation is already over. After a traumatic event, it's to grieve once in awhile. But in the end we have to move on because that's the only way to survive.