How to Save a Life ✓

XXXI: In Which There is Hope

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

I stand in front of the house I used to live in, observing the place I thought was home. Nothing changed about the house, the grass is still overgrown, and the wood is still rotting. The small staircases still squeak when you step on it, letting you know that it will fall any day now. Even though everything is still exactly the same, I can't help but view it in a different light. I don't know what seems different, but for some reason I feel freer than I was before.

Noah stands to my right and there's an absence to my left. Aphrodite can't make it today, she's stuck babysitting her six-year-old cousin while her aunt is at work.

It's been almost a month since I've stepped foot in this house and in all honesty, I am a little nervous to go back inside. I can't keep relying on Didi and Noah to get all my stuff for me from here and I have to face my fears. Nothing bad is going to happen to me. I'm safe.

I just have to remember that.

I do the breathing exercises that Dr Jones taught me during one of our therapy sessions but it doesn't work that well.

"We don't have to go in if you don't want to. We can do this another time." Noah tries to reassure me but I shake my head this time.

"No, I have to go in. Just give me a minute." I breath one last breath before my black sneakers step on the grass, heading for the stairs. My foot steps on a leaf, and I concentrate on the sound it makes as it breaks. The door is slightly ajar and if I put my head in the small space, I could see almost the entire interior of the house.

The walls are an ugly shade of gray and there is a musty scent as my head twists to see the rest. Half empty beer bottles litter the floor and dust has collected on the nearby furniture. Opening the door to fit my whole body inside, I gag at the smell and cover my nose. I'm embarrassed when I think about how Noah must have been disgusted when he first came to my house, even though I tried to clean up as much as I could.

Noah is right behind me, observing the kitchen and opening the fridge. He picks up a container of ham and when he sees that it isn't expired, he grabs a fork from a cabinet and starts eating it. I give him a blank look and he says sheepishly, "I'm hungry, okay?"

I chuckle before looking at the two rooms before me. I could either enter my mother's room or mine. I decide to take a peak in hers and I gasp at what I see. All her drawers are open and clothes have been taken out. Her pillows are gone too and her comforter. My face grows red as I think about what happened.

That bitch ran away when she found out what happened. I close the door angrily, which garners Noah attention. He leaves the kitchen and stands beside me. Her puts his hand on my shoulder in a friendly way and I start to calm down.

I open the door to my room and I cringe when I see the mess. Most of my clothes are gone since Didi and Noah took them the last time they were here. I take the rest and deposit them in my cheap ten dollar bag that I bought at the depository. As I'm putting my clothes inside, I notice something shiny on the carpet- miniscule pieces of glass. I follow the pieces to see my shattered camera on the floor. Picking it up, I inspect the damages. That woman must've not seen the value of a broken camera so she didn't take it. Although there is a crack on the screen, none of the glass have been ripped off. I turn it on to see that it still works and that my camera now has a great glass filter.

I try to look for my computer but to no avail. Noah tells me that he couldn't find it either and I realize that she stole it.

One breath. Two. Three.

Slightly calming down again, I look in my drawer to see my USB drive. Thank God she didn't take it.

"What's in it?" Noah asks.

"All the photos I've ever taken. They're very important to me." Taking one last room around the dreaded room I sigh and step out. There's nothing valuable left in here. Not to me anyway.

I close the door slowly, hoping that I will never step in this house again. Silently we both leave the abandoned house, and as we're walking to the car, I glance back with a sad look in my eyes.

I step in the car and I take the time to look over all the photos in the camera. Most of the ones are of various parts of San Francisco but there is one of Noah that I took on the Golden Gate Bridge, the candid shot. It's beautiful. It's then that I remember the photography fair at school and the project that I was working on.

There's still two days until the deadline.

"Noah?" I say softly.

"Yeah?" He responds.

"We have one more stop to make."

~*~

We're at the top of Twin Peaks, a hill that offers the perfect scenic view of San Francisco. I haven't been here since I was twelve where I escaped our old apartment and made it up to here with the help of several people. I only lasted three hours until I realized that I didn't have any food and I had to go back home. I got a painful beating when I got back.

The sun sets over the horizon leaving a beautiful hue of purple, reds, oranges across the sky. I walk along the gravel until I find the perfect spot. I gape at the beauty of my favorite city before adjusting the settings on my camera. Putting my eyes on the lense, I take a couple shots of the area.

When I finish I sit on the ground. I glance at Noah to see he's looking at the view with great concentration. He catches me staring at him and he gives me a small smile before sitting next to me on the ground.

"Beautiful, isn't it? Makes us remember how insignificant we are." I tell him.

"Yeah, it is. Sarah and I used to go here all the time. She loved sitting here for hours, sometimes the whole day, just staring at the scenery."

"She seems like a great person." I recall Noah's best friend, Sarah, who jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge around a year ago.

"She really was. You would have loved her. She was so bright and positive, Sarah could liven anyone's mood."

I then remember Andrew who was Sarah's boyfriend. He isn't a bad person now that I think about it, he's just so full of grief that he thinks he could lessen the pain if he inflicts it on someone else. It's sad that their friend group got destroyed by the death of a friend. It makes me wonder what would have happened if I died.

I'm so thankful that I got a second chance.

A sense of nostalgia overwhelms me for some unknown reason. I'm going to leave in a couple of months and then all of this is going to be gone. I take a moment to commit this to memory because I never want to forget, no matter what happens.

This isn't the end, it's only the beginning.

FIN