How to Save a Life ✓

XIX: In Which She Buys it

CHAPTER NINETEEN

I want out.

I stare at the wall in silence, my injured hand on top of my heart. It's almost healed, the injury isn't that severe, but I still have bandages wrapped up around it. I don't want to see the scab wounds and the scar that will most likely come, or remember the reassurance I felt as the blood trickled down.

It made me feel like there is a way out. I hate that.

My thumbs glides over the rough bandages, trying to gather enough strength to sit up and start the day. I've been like this for hours, and yet I'm still in the same position. I look around the room to gather some motivation, something that will make me want to continue living.

Nothing captures my attention.

I turn my head towards the other side of the pillow, where my camera and laptop lay. My laptop is open and my dad's facebook is on screen. I can see his profile picture; him smiling at the camera while holding a fish and a rod. He's probably a fisherman or has that as a hobby. He seems happy. At least one of us is.

I grab my camera and observe it. I haven't used it in a few weeks and it's apparent since tiny flecks of dust have accumulated on the lens. I would have never let that happen before since I constantly wiped the lens in fear that a piece of dust would ruin my shot. I put it under my bed, not interested in going outside and taking photos. It's a shame, not even my favorite pastime could make me get out of bed.

Instead, I sit up and grab my laptop. The mouse hovers over the add friend button. Eventually, I move it away and head on over to photos. I've seen his photos so many times already, but I check them again. Most of them are with his wife and a few are with their newborn baby. Her name is Toni. She's beautiful.

A stray tear falls and I hastily wipe them away. I shouldn't be so upset. He's a stranger to me, I don't know him.

Shutting my laptop off, I grab a jacket off the floor and head outside. Being in this house is suffocating and I need fresh air.

The air is humid, and I soon find myself sweating under the hot air of San Francisco. I grab my phone and dial Aphrodite, maybe I could hang out with her.

The phone rings for a couple of seconds and then she picks up. There are giggles on the other line and then a couple of shushing sounds. Then she finally says, "Hi, Kate. You need something?"

Although she sounds lighthearted, there is a hint of annoyance in her tone but I know she isn't trying to show it.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were busy."

I'm about to hang up when she calls my name.

"Wait, I'm not busy. I was just finishing something."

"Oh, okay." I don't know what else to say, so the line became silent. Soon enough, she says, "Why don't you come over to Noah's house? We could all hang out together. I'll send you the address, okay?"

"Sure." A faint smile crosses my face and I hang up. A second later, there's a message on my phone with the address and another message.

Make sure to bring snacks!

I shake my head in mild amusement, almost forgetting the problems that I have. I go into the nearest convenience store, and grab some bags of chips and salsa. I roam around the store aimlessly, trying to waste time before I have to go there. Eventually I land in the medicine section and see the various pill bottles for different uses.

Some of them are for constipation relief, others are vitamins, but most of them are painkillers.

I grab one of the bottles, observing the brand and the size. It feels heavy and foreign in my hand, almost wrong. Taking another one with my left hand, I go to the cash register and drop my items in.

She scans my items and soon goes to the two pill bottles that I grab. Out of nervousness I say, "My mom get's headaches a lot. Painkillers are the only thing that helps stop her pain." She looks at me in disinterest and slowly scans the rest of the items. I don't know why I felt the need to lie. I didn't do anything wrong.

"Can you put the bottles in a separate bag from the chips?"

She huffs in annoyance and takes the bottles out of the joint bag and forcefully put them in another. I carefully hand her the money, and she takes it harshly, not bothering to give me my change.

I decide to leave quietly, not wanting to cause trouble. It's only a couple of cents of change anyway.

I arrive to Noah's house rather quickly, checking once to see if the address on my phone is correct. I knock twice and wait for someone to answer. When I hear a voice telling me to come in, I open the door. Locking it, I see Piper playing with her Barbie's in the livingroom.

Her smile only widens when she see's me and she drops her dolls to hug me. I hug her back, setting my bags on the floor. It's been awhile since I saw her since Noah decided to take my advice and not let her walk the streets alone. It's nice to know that she still remembers me.

Didi walks down the stairs next, her brown hair slightly greasy but still beautiful. Her hair is in a ponytail and she scowls when she sees Piper.

"How come you hug her and not me? I'm amazing."

Piper makes a disgusted face and hides behind me. "Because I don't like you. You didn't share your cookies with me one time."

"That was three years ago! I was thirteen."

Piper sticks her tongue out and Didi and I laugh awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Instead, I grab the bag of chips and head upstairs. Noah is in his room, playing some video game on his console and Didi comes up and joins him. She gets another remote and throws it to me. I barely catch it and look at it in confusion.

"What should I do with this?"

"We're playing Grand Theft Auto." Noah calls out, expecting me to understand. I open the bag of chips and salsa and put it in the middle of the floor, where they can get it. I turn on my remote and join in on the game.

We play like this for a while before we got bored and ran out of food to eat. I sit on the floor while both of them are on Noah's bed. I feel like a third wheel in a sense so I don't say anything while they decide on a movie to watch.

"Horror or comedy, Kate? We can't decide."

I turn my head to their questioning eyes and shrug. Then I reply, "I never watched a horror movie before, but I think it would be fun. We should try that."

They nod in agreement and they put the movie on. I fall asleep half an hour later, suddenly ried. When I wake up, both of them are also asleep and the TV has the end screen on. Noah has his arms around Aphrodite and I check the time on my phone.

12:01

I curse quietly, I was supposed to be home hours ago. My mom will kill me when she finds out I've broken curfew. Slowly standing up, I walk downstairs and grab my bag. Leaving the house, I start walking home. Instead of going through the front entrance, I go through my window, which is the safest option.

Once inside, I wrap myself in my blankets and sigh. Something feels missing, although I can't figure out what it is. I don't bother brushing my teeth, the tiredness taking over me and I fall back asleep.