Nothing Wrong With Being a Tomboy

Chapter 27: Better, Restored, Lovelier

Torture.

That was the only word that wandered through my mind all night. I couldn’t sleep, move, neither blink an eye. I was in constant temptation; agonizing, struggling, and suffering.

Pure blissful torture.

At any minimal and subtle movement, my whole body stiffened in misery. There was an exhilarating electric current lightening my chest and roaming to every single nerve end of my body. Yet I couldn’t set it free… I couldn’t let Riley be affected by that driven passion and furtive lust. I had to control myself.

Being a man means that you can control yourself without the need of hiding behind excuses. Yes, I do want to devour every single inch of her body and I want to do it for long tormenting hours, but I love her and I’m man enough to wait patiently. And yes, I have needs that have been so long neglected, but I know it’s going to be freakin’ worth it when the time comes. I just hope to see the carwash soon… because it’s a torture, I swear.

Having her tangled in my arms, pressed against me, warming me with her soft and angelic features, is paradise in the pit of hell. I’m burning up looking at an angel that—I know for sure—is too innocent to understand the situation I’m currently in. She’s sleeping profoundly while I’m struggling to keep me controlled. And she doesn’t have any idea.

Tautly and restrained, I saw how the minutes passed, witnessing the ticking change in the clock that laughed at me from the nightstand. The red robotic digits gradually changed, transformed, sank. Just like my thoughts.

When it was three past fifteen, Riley sleepily twisted around and buried herself in my personal space that kept me in self-control. Quickly, I plunged my fist inside my mouth and bit it as hard as I could; ignoring the soft skin and body that burrowed intimate to mine. I bit my frustration; knowing I had her so close and yet I couldn’t do anything to please her—please me. But the pain I inflicted in myself pushed my thoughts away, although my body uncontrollably responded to Riley’s desired proximity.

Slowly, I released my stinging fist from my teeth and stared intently at her sleeping form. My eyes traveled from her tiny and golden eyelashes, down to her rosy and inviting lips, further down to her glistering neck and collarbone. There was an anticipated area underneath her jersey that blew my mind with imagination. I could see myself tearing that jersey off and unclasping the garment that beheld the magnificence of her femininity.

But I have to wait.

And even though I wanted to feel her soft skin underneath my body and my fingers, I recoiled away from her. Because the moment I touched her, the moment I would lose my grip and take advantage of the situation. And maybe the door of her heart would be closed once again for me.

I feared to lose her. I could lose anything, but not her. Hence, I made a decision and hastily, climbed off the bed. I dropped myself on the floor next to the bed and began to do multiple sets of pushups, sit-ups, and crunches.

Feeling a sweet endorphin ushering inside my brain as my abdomen flinched in pain, I sat on my elbows and raised my legs, slowly lying flat on my back for better support. Without any mercy, I repeated all of those exercises again to keep my mind off of an invulnerable Riley resting in bed.

Heatedly and repeatedly, I flexed my arms under my head and sat up, tightening my abdomen in cruel pain as I groaned, feeling powerful and victorious.

“I can do this,” I panted when my chest reached my knees, “I can be a man.”

Isn’t a man one who’ll pump himself into her to appraise pleasure for both?