Day 41

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All night I was trying to find clues in her house, Yoongi had gone out when I was searching through her bedroom and I haven't seen him since. The sun is slowly waking up, little rays of light glows through the windows, making the room have a heavenly feel.

"Are you in heaven?" I ask Ally, pushing my fingers through the light. "You deserve to be up there, away from the pain and suffering of this world."

Sighing, I pull my hand away and laugh at myself.

"Namjoon said I didn't truly love you," I frown. "I did, didn't I? It felt like love, and this feels like pain without you. Whenever I look at Yoongi he seems to be in more pain than I, what does that mean? Did I not love you as much as Yoongi did? Did I not love you at all but only thought I did? Is that why it was easier to let you go than to hold on? Tell me, please, that you're alive. I want you and Yoongi to be together, I no longer care about myself. You were happier with Yoongi than when you were with me, it was plain as day, but yet I tried to have you all to myself. I was selfish, I am a selfish person. Yoongi deserved you, you deserved Yoongi, and I took that from you. Why did you run in front of that car? Why did you save me? I am now sure this mourning feeling is more guilt than love, I wish we had never met."

My eyes aimlessly watch the light travel to a painting, the painting was of a white haired man on his knees with shadows surrounding him, but next to him was a black haired man holding the others shoulders.

I walk towards the painting, I never knew Ally was into paintings. Taking the painting off the wall and turning it over to find the artist's name, I find an envelope.

To Seokjin Kim

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