Your Number

3:13 AM

I made a big mistake...

Yeah! You woke me up at 3 am!

Besides that...

Is it serious enough to wake me up?

To me it is. I need to get it out.

You made a mistake when you continued to text me after I declined tacos. But you were so consistent.

I am being serious.

What did you do?

I screamed at my dad.

Don't we all loose our patience?

He kicked me out...

Oh. That bad?

To him, yeah. To me, no. I just argued with about him over an opinion.

Can you ask to stay over a friends?

Yeah I am on my way to someone's house right now.

No offense. Why did you tell me this? I'm sorry this has happened, but what is my purpose in this. Wouldn't it be better to ask someone who can actually help you?

I just wanted a third person point of view that would take this seriously. I know you are caring and I knew that I would be able to share without me holding back. Can I rant?

Right! I'm sorry I was being snappy. 3am Carmen is not nice. Go ahead.

For the longest time in my life my dad has been my hero. My mom and dad divorced when my sister and I were young. She got a new man and I haven't seen her in years. My dad on the other hand has always handled my sister and I on his own. He was someone I always looked up to. Not only was he my dad, he was my friend. In the last year though, he started to get more anxious and less supportive. It's mostly because I push him away, but he is also not happy anymore. On top of that, I have been going down a bad road and he has started to notice. His attention is 98% percent on my sister. Week by week our relationship has been growing apart and tonight was its breaking point. He couldn't take me anymore and my new attitude and told me to come back when I get my life together. The worst part is I actually think he had every right to.

Wow...that's a lot to take in. In my honest opinion, a good parent never abandons their kid. No matter what they have done. They stand by them. That is just me though. I guess there could be lots of arguments for that.

He has good reasons. I wouldn't call it abandoning, maybe trying to guide. We both know we need this break from each other to sort things out. I just wish it wasn't like this. I went too far and all we have been doing is fighting. It's all my fault. I know he still cares, it just hurts right now.

Well if you both think it is the right thing to do...it probably is.

I just miss when I could tell him about anything. I miss when I was a good person. I lost that touch for a while now. I'm sorry I bothered you. You deserve your sleep. I am really sorry.

Don't worry about it. It's totally fine.
I know you can stay in there. I don't know who you are, but from what you have told me and information I have gathered, I can tell you are strong and this all has reason.

I'm not strong. I am weak.

I doubt that.

Strong people know how to treat people with respect. I don't.

Maybe your dad is out of line too? For an argument to have that much of an impact, he must have some guilt somewhere inside him too.

As much as that could be true, I wasn't just talking about my dad anymore.