DIRT ~ finished

Cupcake of Freedom

'You still feeling sick?'

'I just ate human leg, I don't feel incredible', Will groans gagging.

Robin crawls closer against him, and lays his arm around Will's shoulder for comfort. The sudden warmth is nice, but Will is with his head still with what he has just devoured. It didn't taste like duck. It tasted like human. Way to bloody and with muscle that made the chewing job a struggle.

'The first time is the hardest. After that you get so hungry you'd eat his balls', Robin tries to cheer him up.

'If I die in here, you get to eat my balls okay? You get the honour.'

Will isn't looking Robin straight in the face. Instead looking at the sand ground again. Something that has already become a tactic to not be a part of anything for just a little while.

'What an emotional moment', Robin jokes, bringing his hand through Will's hair.

He doesn't even mind. Normally he would smack anyone who'd do it right between the eyes. No one got to touch his hair, it was too personal and intimate. But something about Robin, something about the way he just was, made Will totally comfortable with anything. God, he just ate human leg because Robin told him too.

'Tell me. What's your life like up there', Robin asks curious.

Will blows some air into his shirt to cool down a little. The sweat is pouring off his face, and his clothes are already sticking to his skin by sweat. A bath would be nice. But Robin's question make him think of something else. About everything he has up there.

'I have a mother, an angel I tell you. A wonderful person from the inside out. I go to school hear nearby, Victorian Education. My best pal is Jake, you look a lot like him actually. He's really a lady man, are you?'

Robin doesn't react, and Will looks at him to see what's up. He is grinning.

'I'm absolutely gay mate. As straight as a freaking banana.'

Will raises his eyebrows out of shock. Robin looks nothing like someone who'd be gay. Just a regular guy, only living in a hole in the group. Yet something inside Will starts to blossom up, like the news lights a little fire of hope in his body. But it vanishes just as quickly as it started.

'So not that much alike than', Will jokes to break the awkwardness.

'What about you, girlfriend?'

'More like a...hopeless crush. But being in here I haven't thought of her for a second. Is that...bad? Does it mean the feelings I thought I had were just an illusion?'

'Asking a lot of straight questions to a gay guy. All I can say is that love IS an illusion. It can break, be for a unreachable person, or live on only in your imagination. All fake. The only way to make such thing real and touchable is by a kiss. Than you'll know.'

Will shrugs.

'Can't really kiss her from here. And if I could, I'd disappoint her.'

'You a greenie?' Robin leans back to inspect Will's blushing face.

'If greenie means I've never kissed, than yes. As green as it can be.'

Robin takes back his arm and starts to wipe off sand from his shirt.

'You don't come out as a greenie.'

'You don't come out as gay.'

'Well I did come out for it two years ago', Robin snaps back laughing.

A wave of warm wind blows through everyone's body. You can see the Pitters sweat and struggle with the heat. Blowing their bodies for a sense of cool air. Will can't handle the fabric of his shirt rubbing against his sweaty skin any longer, and he crawls up and takes it off. That takes a while because it is glued to his skin. With the cloth he starts to blow wind at himself. Only getting a wind of fourty degrees, which doesn't quite cool him down.

But as he sits down again, he notices the gazing eyes of his new friend on his skin. And Will feels exposed, naked. Flattered.

Robin quickly stares back straight in front of himself. Into nowhere, but Will caught him, and he won't forget it.

################

Jeez Robin. You fucking moron. What do you think huh? That you actually make a change. The guy is as straight as it can be.

Of course I don't. But my mind sees me as a little bitch sometimes.

Since Will is down with us, the tension in the group has been high. Everyone sees the meat on his bones, and the taste that it'll have.

I started to think like that too, food got important in here. But when Will arrived something about him is so live like, so sparkly, and it boils my blood, yet makes me like him more than I've ever.

He doesn't decline my support, and I feel like we could build a strong friendship in here. I might just have to take enough with that. Anyways, I need to keep thinking straight and focused if I ever want to leave this place and go back to my regular perfect life style.

The parties, the drinks, the bodies dancing so close you can smell everyone's excitement, the secretly taking pills in bathrooms and taking care of buddies after they take one to many. I had some time to look into my problems, and how stupid my mistake was to end hp in here, yet I know that if I get back it'll be the first thing I do. I'll visit Quar and buy a shitload of the pink stuff to reduce the pain I know feel day and night. It's been keeping me awake, and I prefer to sit the whole day 'cause it takes my body pressure off of my legs.

I heard bag night about tonight. Rumours. They want to take Nosy away from me. I won't let them, but what can I do if he is the actual target? Nosy is weak and he can't live on the blood of others. He's just simply too young to die in here, all of us are. Except for Skinny and the Doctor, that's the type of human they dug this hole for. Why put kids like Nosy with monsters like them?

I will simply stay awake tonight. I can count stars and sing songs to myself, keeps me busy and awake. Some songs are starting to fade in my memory, and it's devastating to not remember all the lyrics of the goodnight songs my mom used to sing to me anymore. Like another slice of my freedom is being eaten in front of my face. And the pie was already small. More like a cupcake.

The cupcake of freedom.