DIRT ~ finished

Literal Blood Bath

'Look guys, this place has been getting control of us. And it's time to get back up there and show the town we are civilised people too!'

Robin had gotten all Pitters together in a circle around him. And he held a speech that would hopefully lead to them standing behind Will's plan of escape.

Yet Will found it nerve racking to see those torn down men, who had to start a life again. A healthy life, with chicken for a meal and not human flesh. Would they be human enough still?

'Do I look civilised?' Skinny protested groaning.

And Robin nodded, not looking really convinced to Will though.

'Even you asshole! Wouldn't you like to go home and see your family again, hold them in your huge arms? Tell them you love'em?'

'My family is dead.'

'Your dog?'

'Don't have one.'

'Friends?'

'Do you want me to fall in repeat?'

'Whatever', Robin continued firmly, 'you must have something you miss up there. Food, friends, family, baths, a proper bed, heating, Christmas presents, a roof, steady ground, irritated bus drivers, hot cashiers, sex, orange juice, block buster movies... We all miss something.'

Will felt Robin's passion and desperation. He wanted freedom, and wished to do anything to get it.

'Will, my pal here, wants to try something. It can work out well or shitty, what would it change to give it a try?'

The group did not respond. Not a no or a yes. It was a chance for Will to get the second one. So he stepped forward, carefully but surely. And he turned around himself so he got everyone's attention.

Will hadn't told Robin his plan yet. 'Cause it was dumb and dangerous. And Robin would try and stop him for sure. Yet Will wanted to do it. He had no other option. He couldn't be down much longer with his sanity intact. He was weak.

'I'm climbing the wall.'

The group fell silent in disbelieve.

And Robin pulled Will toward him by his shirt.

'What did you just say?'

'I'm climbing the wall', Will repeated stubborn.

'On my mothers grave you will', Robin argued.

'No I won't climb your mothers grave. I'm climbing this wall.'

'And fall your way to death?'

'And make my way back to my mother.'

'Imagine how she'll cry when she finds out your brain is smashed all over the sand.'

'I'll hold her once again, and stay with her until my final day comes.'

'WHICH WILL BE SOON IF YOU DO THIS!'

'Robin please...'

'You're not doing this to me you asshole', Robin sneered, pushing Will on his chest.

Will set a step back.

'Robin...'

'It's sand, you can't lean on it.'

Another push, another step back.

'Robin...'

'So you're just leaving me here huh? To rot?'

A harsher push this time, and Will felt the cold of the sand wall against his back.

'Robin...'

'I'll climb with you. We'll get up there together or fall our ways toward heaven. But we'll be together.'

Robin took Will by his collar, and squeezed his nails in the cloth.

'Robin...'

'Do you hate me? 'Cause hell Will...I fucking love you.'

'Robin...'

'WHAT!'

Will grinned, and pressed his lips against Robin's. Who had his eyes wide open from shock. But eventually closed them in pure passion. Will's first kiss. And it was perfect.

Yet Robin pushed him off and groaned.

'You kiss me only because I'm killing you if you go alone.'

'I'm kissing you because I wanted too. I'm still climbing that wall, because I also want to be with my mother. And you need to nod now and accept it okay? I won't fall damnit.'

Robin had no choice but to nod, and Will smiled and blushed.

He had kissed him.

And Robin did again.

########

The hotel room was just as it looked on the internet picture.

A place you wouldn't want to be find dead in.

Yet that was exactly what would happen.

The bathtub, grey and with cracks in the stone, was filled with steaming water. And I undress, standing in the freezing stone room, feeling nothing but shame.

I step into the boiling hot water, yet I don't pull my leg back. The pain is fine, it pauzes the pain in my heart.

When I'm all in the tub, I lay head back against the stone and breath out in and out deeply to calm myself down.

Everything I went through.
All for nothing.
All leading to betraying my own flesh and blood.

When I bring it up in my mind again I feel more will power to grab the raiser on the edge of the tub and hold it against the skin of my wrist.

It is what I'm supposed to do.

And as I cut a deep line in my wrist I see the blood boil up from underneath.

Before losing consciousness I switch over to the other arm. Doing the same thing.

And by the lost of to much blood I see black blocks appear in my vision. The pain is to deal with as I lay the cuts in the water.

It is what I'm supposed to do. 

And I give myself over to the darkness that has emerged.

Maybe soon I'll be reunited to my family again.
I have some explaining to do.