Absolute Perfection

Prologue

Alexandra
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IF YOU WOULD PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO LEAVE AN ASTERISK* ON ANY OF MY GRAMMAR/SPELLING MISTAKE
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"James, don't do this." I pleaded, trying not to raise my voice in exasperation. Pulling in a deep breath, I tried to calm my nerves. My throat burned with the emotions building up as our arguing swiftly progressed, tears threatening to pour out like a broken faucet head.

My boyfriend of eight months, the longest relationship I'd held down in nearly six years, had the gall to scoff at me with a roll of his pretty blue eyes. "Please, Alex, don't act like this isn't what you want. You don't want me for anything more than a warm body in the sheets." I'd be a liar if I said that one hadn't stung. Didn't he see the effort I put into us every damn day?

I tried with everything that my emotionally damaged heart would allow to make this work; he knew what he was getting into from the get go. We talked about this for nearly four months before he finally got me to take a chance on him! I'd tried; really, I did. I don't do well with relationships, no matter what the type. That's the reason I never bothered to build on them. It was pointless. They all ended the same, much like it appeared this one was.

Fighting was nothing new for us as of recent, and my chest constricted at the sadness and anger evident on his face every damn time. "You know that's not true." My voice was hoarse, a mere whisper I wasn't sure he'd even managed to hear. Tears pooled at the corners of my eyes, traitorous drops falling down my reddened, puffy cheeks.

"Then prove me wrong!" I found myself involuntarily flinching at the icy rage he directed my way.

Meeting his gaze I saw a man begging for me to just take the plunge, and it hurt to know I couldn't do that. "Tell me why you're so closed off. Please, just open up to me."

There was a pregnant pause as he studied me before his shoulders went slack and his head drooped. It appeared he finally understood, yet why didn't it feel like a victory? I was determined to keep the past buried and dead. Those skeletons would forever stay hidden away, piled deep within a part of me I never wanted to touch again. This is what I wanted, right?

For just a miniscule moment I entertained the thought of telling him-truly opening up to someone for the first time in a long time, but quickly pushed that idea away at the harsh memories of Darius proving my suspicions to be true. Telling anyone, no matter how badly I might have wanted to, was not an option.

He'd been disgusted by me, enraged that I hadn't told him prior to letting him touch me. He was grossed out to have shared a bed with me, grossed out with himself more so than me. No- for me he only held rage and loathing. That was something I wouldn't let James ever have for me. Better to have him hate me rather than himself.

Even with the hateful words he was throwing at me I was protecting him, in my own sadistic way. It was sad really, how cruel fate could be.

We'd had this fight before, but this time it was different. This time he was over being pushed away. James wanted what I couldn't give him, and wasn't it some shit that that was normally how life worked? We always wanted what we couldn't have. The desire for what would never be in our reach was a curse man kind had been chasing for centuries.

"You know I can't do that."

Silence, and then he bid goodbye with a final stab at my erratic emotions. "Can't or won't." And that was just it, wasn't it? I said I couldn't, but I could if I wanted to. All I had to do was be willing to relive that nasty night all over again.

A part of my spiteful conscious that was tired of being alone told me this was for the best. If I wasn't willing to do something like that for him than my love wasn't strong enough. He deserved someone willing to go to the ends of the earth for him, and if I couldn't even relive an old memory for our relationships sake than I wasn't the one for him.

The part that hurt the most was the fact he walked out and shut the door quietly behind him without looking back. I wanted him to slam it in rage, make a dramatic scene I'd have to apologize to my neighbors about later, but I only wanted that so I didn't have to feel so shitty about myself. I could deal with the anger, simply because it meant the fault wasn't all my own. I could say he over reacted: threw a fit over something small, scared me when he screamed. Instead he quietly left my life in a single meters stretch with the only sound my harsh breathing and hiccuped whimpers.

What surprised me the most was that I wasn't as hurt as I told myself I should have been about our inevitable end finally showing up. I'd thought this one was going to be the one I could finally let myself forgive and forget, but life had a better idea. I'd been so naive to think I could live my life without having my morbid past looming over everything I did; things would never change-different relationship, same result.

As I made my way towards bed to cry myself to sleep, I glanced my appearance in the mirror hanging just outside my bathroom door, and what I saw made my mind up for me. I decided then and there I was quitting this whole relationship thing. Why did i put myself through this time and time again? I'd tried twice now, and both times I merely managed to stomp on and flatten my already battered emotional well-being. I'd have to be a masochist to want to repeat any of it.

Picking up my cell with a deep breath and a heavy heart I dialed my producer to give her exactly what she'd wanted of me for the past year. Everywhere I looked there were items that reminded me of the good times James and I had created together, and as I managed to just about get a grip on my hysterics, they'd go nuts over something as miniscule as the charm necklace he'd gotten me for my birthday strewn out on my bedside table. I had to get out of this suffocating apartment, and away from the memories.

Just as I was about to lose all hope in her answering I heard a click, then a soft, "Hello?" Judging from her groggy voice I'd woken her up, but I couldn't bring myself to care about that at the moment.

Taking a second to get my last few hiccups managed, I gritted out, "I accept, Nicole. I need a fucking vacation."

And that, ladies and gentleman, was the condemning scenario fate pulled to thrust me into the craziest adventure I was ever going to have.

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Q&A
LET'S GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER! Here is where I will list a few questions to ask you guys so I can get to know each and every one of you.

0. Comment here with any questions you have for me.

1. How do you feel about that little fiasco?

2. What do you think is in our dear Alex's past?

3. Where do you think this story is going?