Populars

The Box

   BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!!!!

"Oh no!!! I'm gonna be late to school!" I jumped out of my poop-filled bed. It was 3:00 a.m.

I went down the elevator to grab breakfast. Of course mom is already up. She never sleeps. She kind of just stares at a wall the whole night, then blinks and makes me breakfast.

"Hello mom. Can you make me some Huckleberry yoodletin yogurt?" I asked mom in the grumpiest way possible.

Mom totally forgot to make breakfast this morning because she was too fascinated by a wall.  I cannot believe her. It's already 3:02 a.m., and I'm gonna be late to school. It starts at 8:30 a.m.

Mom grabs the ingredients to make my Huckleberry Yoodletin Yogurt. All it requires is goat milk, onion juice, and fish legs. YUM!

I ate as quick as a horse on two legs. The meal tasted awful because mom forgot to put in 1/3 cups milk. She only put in 1/2.6 cups of milk in.

"Mom this is horrid. I'm going to get my jumpsuit on right now so bye..." I smashed a hammer through the elevator door because I didn't want to wait so long for it to open. Once I got inside, I pressed 7 buttons to get upstairs. Before I knew it, the elevator broke.

"SOMEONE!?!?! HELP, THE ELEVATOR BROKE!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. I felt refreshed after screaming because I haven't screamed in over 1.6 hours. It's a world record.

The elevator started up again. FINALLY... It took way too long. I checked my watch and it was 3:04 a.m. (Oh wait.... I don't have a watch.) I'm psychic remember???

When I got upstairs, I went to the bathroom. I haven't pooped in 40 minutes. It's been so long. The last time I pooped was in my bed, but that doesn't count as real poop because I was asleep.

I got out of the elevator in a split second. When I went to my room, my door was wide open. I didn't leave it open when I went to sleep. Oh wait, now I remember, I opened it to go downstairs for breakfast. 

I went into my room and opened my walk-in-closet door. It's so big, it could fit 4 smashed up cars in it. I walked up to a cell that had my jumpsuit floating in it. It had diarrhea on it because I had an accident 3 years ago and never washed it since. Now the whole school will smell me when I walk past them!!

I then went down my elevator to tell mom goodbye. She was eating some maggot cheese while watching football. (Well, she was actually staring at a wall pretending she was watching football...) 

"Tootles mom!! I'm going to school, again. Hopefully I don't return!" I said, as I grabbed my butt cushion and left out the door. Before I left, my mom said,

"Be quiet and get bad grades for your dear mother! Don't eat the furniture in the school."

I don't know how to drive an actual car, so I made a cardboard box on wheels. It actually moves!! An old lady walked past me, while I was driving my cardboard box, and she walked way faster than me. I threw poop at her, and watched her slowly fall to the ground.

"HAH! No one can beat me. My car is faster than you, fool!!!" I said, as I sped up the car.

When I got to the parking lot, I parked in a parking lot, but a car nearly ran me over because my car was too small. The principal came around the school doors and saw me struggling to get out of my box.

"Miss Scrabid?! What on earth are you doing in a box? That is no place to be parked with a box like that! You're gonna get yourself killed. How many times have I told you this?!" Mr. Hepplewhite seemed extremely furious and I did not know why. All I did was park my box in a parking lot. Isn't that what parking lots are for?

Mr. Hepplewhite is a tall man with boots on. He wears a small jacket that looks way too small for him, and a tank top that's orange. He also has a pair of khakis on him. Mr. Hepplewhite grabbed me by the leg and yanked me up. I nearly went flying over his head. Wow! This man is strong. He's like a Polaris RZR XP Turbo EPS. 

"Wow Mr. Hepplewhite you are very strong. I don't know why I can't park there. It seems like a good place to me." 

"Scrabid, that is a box you are driving. It's no car to me. You better get that rubble off my property or I will sue you." Mr. Hepplewhite shoved me into the building of the school and ran off. Where is that man going?

I walked into my first class. Jeffery Poopgrain is always early and I'm always late. I see Jeffery eating a book to the right of me when I sit down.