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Detention

Natfly and I walked out of Mrs. Bottomsmack's room in a rush. I tripped on Natfly's shoes and went sliding across the hallway. Natfly just stood there, speechless. 

"Natfly why did you trip me? I could of died!" I was expecting a "sorry," but Natfly just came over and helped me to get up.

"You're not gonna apologize? You nearly broke my bones." For some reason I wasn't very upset with Natfly. He was a nice guy, but when he makes me mad, I just don't really feel mad. Ya know?

"Oh that wasn't my fault Scrabid. You slipped on my brand new sneakers and left some leftover mud on them. I just bought them for 600 dollars," Natfly got kind of upset with me, "Scrabid why can't you just be normal. Stop fooling around and go to detention with me. Walk like a normal person."

"Oh well it's not my fault I'm not normal." I was about to throw poop at him, but he just started smiling like a nincompoop. "What's so funny?" I asked. I pretty much knew he was just going insane.

Natfly just stopped and kept smiling. I kept asking him what was wrong, but he never told me even when I punched him fast in the arm.

"Ow, what was that for?" 

"Natfly, tell me why you were smiling!" I insisted him on telling me this big secret of his.

"Why? It's none of your business." He just kept smiling.

"Is this about me? Or is it about that one Page maggot?" I hope it wasn't about that poopy Page lady.

"It might be about you. Who knows? It could also be about anyone in this school. If you really want me to tell you, I'll tell you at lunch." Natfly just started walking away to detention; Not even waiting for me. Like, who wouldn't wait for me?!?!?!

I caught up with him without running. I did this thing called a max-speed. It's where you walk, but you secretly run. It's where you stick poop on the bottom of your shoes and start walking. The poop slides across the room, making you ten times faster. No one even knows you're running.

Natfly and I walked into detention and saw a fat man on his phone. 

"Oh so you are the troublemakers, ay? Name?" the man asked while looking down at his phone.

"I'm Natfly, and this is-" Natfly swung his head around to see me drawing on the white board. "Scrabid stop writing on that. You're gonna get us both into more trouble." Natfly mouthed so the Detention guy didn't hear us. "This is Scrabid."

"Scrabid and Natfly. Okay. Weird names you both have. My name is Mr. Greb. Sit down over here." He gestured his hand to two small chairs in the corner of the room. This isn't very pleasant if you ask me. I thought that detention would smell like fart, but instead, it smelled like potato chips. 

Natfly and I walked over to the chairs. I sat on the left, while Natfly sat on the right of me. 

"Look what you've gotten us into." Natfly whispered. He frowned at me for the first time. I've never seen a look like it.

"It wasn't my fault. You wouldn't get your head out of the drawing. I had to slap you so the teacher wouldn't catch you drawin' in class." I looked at Natfly and he stopped frowning, giving me a casual look until Mr. Greb sat up in his chair.

"I'ma go to the cafeteria for some food. You two nitwits stay there until I arrive back." Mr. Greb walked out of the room happily. He looked like he hadn't eaten in 1 hour. I eat every 10 minutes!

Natfly started tapping his foot impatiently on the floor. I felt bad that he had anxiety so I had to ask him why he was worried.

"Natfly? Do you have ADHD?" I just had to ask him.

"Oh my golly jeeb Scrabid. Of course I don't have ADHD. Why do you ask such a ridiculous question?" Natfly looked shocked.

"Oh because you started tapping your left foot at a 4 rhythm beat." I said pressingly. 

"What in the world? I normally tap my foot when I'm bored, and when you keep asking me questions." Natfly insisted that I stop asking more questions.

We sat in silence for 1 hour. I haven't been quite for even 30 minutes in my whole life! What is wrong with me? I just have to say something. "Hello." I said to no one in particular.

"Hi?" Natfly seemed very tired.

"Natfly? You seem tired. Are you tired? I have a butt cushion you can sit on if you want. I also have some poop you can smell to make you more energetic. How much longer do we have to sit here? Mr. Greb said he would be back." I had so much more to ask him, but he would get mad, so I stopped there.

"No, I'm not tired. I don't want a butt cushion. I don't want to smell your poop. I don't know how much longer. I just want to get out of this stuffy room." Natfly seemed irritated. 

I knew exactly how much time we had left because I am psychic. We had exactly 32 more minutes, 4 seconds, and .60 milliseconds.

"I have an idea. Quick over to that window." I grabbed Natfly's hand and swung him around the room twice, like a rag doll. His whole body knocked over a few desks. Then I went over to the window with him and grabbed a pizza cutter from Mr. Greb's desk to open the window. I placed the cutter on the window and started scraping it up and down it.

"Golly, Scrabid. Just open the window like this." He showed me how to open it with his bare hands. There was a handle.

"Wow know-it-all. I knew that." I jumped on his head and grabbed on to the window. Without hesitating I jumped out it. I grabbed Natfly's shoes and dragged him out the window. 

"What about Greb? What if he sees us gone and calls our parents?" Natfly seemed nervous.

"It's fine. We'll tell our parents that we had to go to the bathroom and ended up outside." I said surely.

"That is the worst excuse I've ever heard in my whole entire life of a man." Natfly grabbed the handle to the window and shut it.

We ran like crazy when we knew that Mr. Greb wasn't watching us.