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Mom

In about 2 split seconds, Natfly slides down the slide slowly, making this horrible squeaking noise that fills the park. It makes my nose itch. I then carefully stare at Natfly, raising my eyebrows up and down. He gives me a questionable look and turns around, and upside-down.

"Natfly, we need to get going. School is out already and I need to get home to my pet llama." I didn't tell Natfly I had a pet llama until now. He has no clue that my pet llama is actually a stuffed animal, so I didn't mention it.

"Wait, you have a pet llama?! That is so ridiculous. You really think I would believe you?" Natfly stares at his hand like some sort of bacteria has infected it.

"Natfly why are you staring at your hand?"

"Because I am a free man. I can do what I please..." And with that, he ran off into the abyss. I have no idea why he would just leave me, in the woodchips, alone. 

I got into my cardboard box and started up the engine. The cart skid slowly across the pavement. Everyone around me stared. I got the feeling like I was popular. They all gave me a glare and licked their elbows. I learned that when people do this, it means they want some refried beans. I stared back at them and did the same.

When I got home, I couldn't find ma.  I looked everywhere, even in the fridge. She normally would hide in the fridge because last month, when I couldn't find her, she was in the fridge. She told me that she loved the cold, and she loved when her hair turned white so people would think she's old and wrinkly. I should do that sometime.

I jumped into my pre-installed elevator and got in. This time it was working, but the music didn't play correctly. It started playing the song called Patty-cake. I love this song. It makes me think of old men in the sewers. 

When I got out of the elevator, I slipped on a pile of poop. 

"What in the greb snabbig?! Where did this poop come from?" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Imaginary bats started flying out the window because I was so loud. 

I went in my room and saw that my mom was on my deck. She was sitting on the floor, twiddling her thumbs.

"Ma, what are you doing? I thought you were at daycare!" Mom usually works at the daycare. She said she loves to watch kids struggling. One time, she even threw a stick at a kid who was messin' around with this Barney toy. She told the kid to watch his language because he was saying he had to go poop. 

"Oh dear, I was just watching Cartoon Network. Sorry if I was distracting you." Mom got up and left my room. I noticed that her hair was wet because it was raining outside.

I got onto my big babu bed and sang myself lullabies. I normally do this every night and scream myself songs to sleep.